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It’s all fun and games until someone loses a testicle. —T-SHIRT

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Someone
Testicles
Metallica
Shirt
Pregnant
Shirts
Boners
Fun
Testicle
Loses
Sidekicks
Games
Slaying

More quotes by Darynda Jones

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I like to see the glass as half full, hopefully of jack daniels.
Darynda Jones
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I pointed in the general vicinity of my left ovary, This is Beam Me Up. Then to my right. And this is Scotty. Garret chuckled and buried his face in his hands. He asked.
Darynda Jones
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Do not disturb. Already there.
Darynda Jones
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I went down like a drunken cowgirl trying to line dance to Metallica.
Darynda Jones
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He bombarded me with words, of all things, apparently clueless to the fact that the predawn hours rendered me incapable of coherent thought.
Darynda Jones
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I'm a virgin. But this is an old shirt. --T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones
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The point is, stories can be all lengths. Never underestimate the power of “less is more.
Darynda Jones
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I chose the road less traveled. Now I'm lost.
Darynda Jones
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Hey, I'm going to Super Dog for a quick bite and to pass along a message from a dead guy to his girlfriend. You should come with me. I can't go with you. Is it because of my questionable morals? No, it's because it's three o'clock in the afternoon and I have to pick up Amber from school. Oh, right. So the morals thing doesn't bothe
Darynda Jones
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When life hands you lemons say, Lemons? What else have you got? - bumper sticker
Darynda Jones
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Man, that woman was quick when she wanted to be. But put her behind the wheel of a Buick.
Darynda Jones
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That boy needs a hobby. Stalking is a hobby. So is serial killing.
Darynda Jones
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What do I look like, the ghost whisperer? They're loony. I'd have better luck talking to my cousin Alfonso's Chihuahua. At least Tía Juana knows Spanish. Your cousin's Chihuahua is named Tía Juana?
Darynda Jones
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We stood there, the three of us, our jaws firmly planted on the floor. Aunt Lil recovered first. She nudged me with her elbow and said with a cackle of delight, I think you guys should make some more of those brownies, 'cause that boy looks hungry.
Darynda Jones
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I climbed into Misery and called Uncle Bob. “We hooking up?” “Why does everything out of your mouth make me sound incestuous?” “Um, I wasn’t aware that it did. Perhaps you have a guilty conscience.” “Charley.” “Is there something you need to get off your chest? Besides that skank I saw you with the other day?
Darynda Jones
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I did that thing where you scratch your eyebrow and flip someone off at the same time. I'm good at multitasking like that.
Darynda Jones
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She shook her head then took off again, and I found myself struggling to keep up with her in my bunny slippers. With a sigh, I realized I was getting way too much exercise. I'd just have to counteract it later with cake.
Darynda Jones
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I may as well cut my losses and make a hasty exit while I still had enough self-esteem to walk upright. Crawling was so demoralizing
Darynda Jones
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I sort of got off on making bad guys sweat. Which was not unlike my love of making good guys sweat, just by very different means.
Darynda Jones
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Have they even seen the Winchester boys? Sammy and Dean's existence proves there is a god and she is a woman.
Darynda Jones