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If it weren’t for physics and law enforcement, I’d be unstoppable.

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Unstoppable
Enforcement
Weren
Physics
Law

More quotes by Darynda Jones

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Hello? I said, because Charley's House of Pasties seemed wrong.
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He had threatened my parents. I had to remember that. Still, it was really hard to stay mad at a wounded naked man.
Darynda Jones
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Honestly, he acted as though he didn't like me anymore. Wait, maybe he didn't. Do you still like me? I never liked you. Oh, right. He had a point. Garreth & Charley
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Pretending to drink coffee was similar to faking an orgasm.
Darynda Jones
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I could be irksome when I put my left ventricle into it.
Darynda Jones
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Just in case, though, I stormed into my apartment, tossed a quick hello to Mr. Wong, then rummaged through my entertainment center to lay out all my exorcism equipment. I kept it in my entertainment center because exorcisms were nothing if not entertaining.
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I noticed you tore down Donovan's house. He lifted his gaze until it locked with mine. He's alive because he left town. His house chose to stay. It paid the price.
Darynda Jones
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guys have feelings too. But like...who cares? -Inspirational poster
Darynda Jones
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When fighting clowns, always go for the juggler.
Darynda Jones
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Felt my heartbeat falter, hesitate, then stumble awkwardly forward, tripping on the next beat, then the next, faster and faster until each one tumbled into the other like the drumroll of dominoes crashing together. Funny how time stands still when death is imminent.
Darynda Jones
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I shifted in my chair as Dad waited for a response. He seemed determined, his resolve unwavering. This would take tact. Prudence. Possibly Milk Duds. “Are you psychotic?” I asked, realizing my plan to charm and bribe him if need be flew out the window the minute I opened my mouth.
Darynda Jones
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I meant to behave. There were just too many other options.--T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones
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Does Uncle Bob have anything? I heard he has an STD. I mean on the women. Oh, I have no idea if they have any STDs.
Darynda Jones
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Drink coffee! Do stupid things faster and with more energy!
Darynda Jones
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A sheriff arrested me. I could be mistaken, but I'm pretty sure my men-in-uniform fetish began that day. The sheriff was hot. And he handcuffed me. I've never been the same.
Darynda Jones
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Friends don't let friends get killed by serial killers
Darynda Jones
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You were the one who hit me on the roof? I hit you on the jaw. We just happened to be on a roof at the time.
Darynda Jones
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SARC- was my second favorite -ASM word
Darynda Jones
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She still wasn't convinced. So, if you were a guy, would you be into me? Hon, if I were a guy, I'd be gay. Yeah, me, too.
Darynda Jones
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I went down like a drunken cowgirl trying to line dance to Metallica.
Darynda Jones