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Can I brush your hair?” she asked as she led the way, her disposition doing a 180 on a dime. Kids. Can’t live with ’em. Can’t eat ’em for lunch.

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Ems
Lunch
Asked
Hair
Dime
Kids
Dimes
Live
Brush
Way
Brushes
Disposition

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This place is like crazy on crackers.
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When I want your opinion, I'll remove the duct tape.--T-SHIRT
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There comes a moment when you know you just aren't going to do anything esle productive for the rest of the day.-T-Shirt
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I did that thing where you scratch your eyebrow and flip someone off at the same time. I'm good at multitasking like that.
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What did one say to a stalker? Um, pardon me, Mr.Stalker, but could you, like, not?
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―You realize I can hear you without the annoying intercom. Cookie and I both leaned forward and looked at each other through the doorway. ―But this is more fun, I said. ―More Star Trekkie.
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Surely my macking on some guy in an insane asylum wouldn't hurt him. He'd been living with his stalker, for heaven's sake.
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I climbed into Misery and called Uncle Bob. “We hooking up?” “Why does everything out of your mouth make me sound incestuous?” “Um, I wasn’t aware that it did. Perhaps you have a guilty conscience.” “Charley.” “Is there something you need to get off your chest? Besides that skank I saw you with the other day?
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Yeah, but what happens if life hands me pickles? - Bumper sticker
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Cookie had taken her daughter amber to school then walked the thirty-something feet to work earlier. Our business was on the second floor of Calamity's, my dad's bar, which sat right in front of our apartment building. The short commute was nice and rarely invloved rabid raccoons.
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But we'd never really seen eye to eye. Mostly 'cause he was much taller than I was.
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Chocolate and coffee ? Together ? Whoever came up with that combination should have won a Nobel Peace Prize. Or at least a subscription to Reader's Digest.
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Hey, I'm going to Super Dog for a quick bite and to pass along a message from a dead guy to his girlfriend. You should come with me. I can't go with you. Is it because of my questionable morals? No, it's because it's three o'clock in the afternoon and I have to pick up Amber from school. Oh, right. So the morals thing doesn't bothe
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Where you just possessed? Cookie asked after a long moment, awe softening her voice. 'Cause let me tell you, sweetheart, if that was possession, I'm selling my soul.
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When life hands you lemons say, Lemons? What else have you got? - bumper sticker
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He had given me so much information, I wanted some time to absorb it all, but I didn't want to leave him. Not like this. Not ever, as long as I lived. Or until I had to get back on the case. Whichever came first.
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If it weren’t for physics and law enforcement, I’d be unstoppable.
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There is nothing to fear but fear itself. And spiders. ~Bumper sticker~
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Who is Dr. A. von Holstein? And is he related, by chance, to a race of cows?
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I know, he said in almost bored contemplation. My manners suck. I like to chalk it up to a dissatisfying childhood. I'd chalk it up to that narcissistic personality disorder laces with a smidgen of schizophrenia. Your mother would be proud.
Darynda Jones