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Can I brush your hair?” she asked as she led the way, her disposition doing a 180 on a dime. Kids. Can’t live with ’em. Can’t eat ’em for lunch.

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Live
Brush
Way
Brushes
Disposition
Ems
Lunch
Asked
Hair
Dime
Kids
Dimes

More quotes by Darynda Jones

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Insanity does NOT run in my family. It strolls through, takes it's time, and gets to know everyone personally - T-Shirt
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I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. - T-SHIRT
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My real mom died when I was born—hemorrhaged to death while giving birth to me, which has never been one of my favorite memories—and Dad married Denise before I’d turned a year. Without even asking my opinion on the matter. Denise and I never really clicked.
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Want coffee? I asked, as I headed that way. It's three thirty in the morning. Okay. Want coffee?
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He was like chocolate-covered heroin, and I was an addict through and through.
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She blinked at me, then realized I was panicking. Honestly, it was like admitting to murder before being interrogated. “Ms. Davidson,” she began, but I decided to trip her up, to throw her off the trail of blood I’d left like an injured animal. “I don’t speak English.
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Oh, and she told me that men want only one thing. And on that note, I must give praise and thanks to the powers that be. I don't want much else from them either.
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He bombarded me with words, of all things, apparently clueless to the fact that the predawn hours rendered me incapable of coherent thought.
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I may as well cut my losses and make a hasty exit while I still had enough self-esteem to walk upright. Crawling was so demoralizing
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I'm a virgin. But this is an old shirt. --T-SHIRT
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Paperwork wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for all the paper. And the work.
Darynda Jones
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I was white. Chalk had more color than I did. And quite possibly more personality.
Darynda Jones
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Nobody wants to look like a fool. Nine times out of ten, that reason alone keeps people from allowing themselves to believe.
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He's helped me a lot over the years. I'm sure he has. You scratch his back. He scratches yours. I have skin allergies. I'm itchy.
Darynda Jones
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When I want your opinion, I'll remove the duct tape.--T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones
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There is nothing to fear but fear itself. And spiders. ~Bumper sticker~
Darynda Jones
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But we'd never really seen eye to eye. Mostly 'cause he was much taller than I was.
Darynda Jones
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I went down like a drunken cowgirl trying to line dance to Metallica.
Darynda Jones
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I love children, but I don't think I can eat a whole one.- Bumper sticker
Darynda Jones
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I know, he said in almost bored contemplation. My manners suck. I like to chalk it up to a dissatisfying childhood. I'd chalk it up to that narcissistic personality disorder laces with a smidgen of schizophrenia. Your mother would be proud.
Darynda Jones