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Can I brush your hair?” she asked as she led the way, her disposition doing a 180 on a dime. Kids. Can’t live with ’em. Can’t eat ’em for lunch.

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Ems
Lunch
Asked
Hair
Dime
Kids
Dimes
Live
Brush
Way
Brushes
Disposition

More quotes by Darynda Jones

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I'm a virgin. But this is an old shirt. --T-SHIRT
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What do I look like, the ghost whisperer? They're loony. I'd have better luck talking to my cousin Alfonso's Chihuahua. At least Tía Juana knows Spanish. Your cousin's Chihuahua is named Tía Juana?
Darynda Jones
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Maybe I needed sensitivity training. I once signed up for an anger management class, but the instructor pissed me off.
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My powers of persuasion are only as strong as the bullshit I have to back it up. - Charley Davidson
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Chocolate and coffee ? Together ? Whoever came up with that combination should have won a Nobel Peace Prize. Or at least a subscription to Reader's Digest.
Darynda Jones
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You take everything onto your shoulders like that guy who holds up the world, and you shouldn’t. You’re not nearly as muscular.
Darynda Jones
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When I want your opinion, I'll remove the duct tape.--T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones
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There comes a moment when you know you just aren't going to do anything esle productive for the rest of the day.-T-Shirt
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Rocket, I said, straightening in the chair. Donovan was just helping me with my contacts. Donovan raised his brows humorously. Rocket furrowed his. Did you swallow them?
Darynda Jones
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Nobody wants to look like a fool. Nine times out of ten, that reason alone keeps people from allowing themselves to believe.
Darynda Jones
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He had threatened my parents. I had to remember that. Still, it was really hard to stay mad at a wounded naked man.
Darynda Jones
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Honestly, he acted as though he didn't like me anymore. Wait, maybe he didn't. Do you still like me? I never liked you. Oh, right. He had a point. Garreth & Charley
Darynda Jones
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You were the one who hit me on the roof? I hit you on the jaw. We just happened to be on a roof at the time.
Darynda Jones
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He was like chocolate-covered heroin, and I was an addict through and through.
Darynda Jones
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Man, I want to be someone's forbidden fruit. Well, you are pretty fruity.
Darynda Jones
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It’s all fun and games until someone loses a testicle. —T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones
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That you honestly believe I am capable of hurting innocent people for no reason.” “You’re not?” I asked, hope softening my voice. “Oh, no, I’m more than capable. I just didn’t realize you knew that.
Darynda Jones
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I did that thing where you scratch your eyebrow and flip someone off at the same time. I'm good at multitasking like that.
Darynda Jones
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She shook her head then took off again, and I found myself struggling to keep up with her in my bunny slippers. With a sigh, I realized I was getting way too much exercise. I'd just have to counteract it later with cake.
Darynda Jones
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I climbed into Misery and called Uncle Bob. “We hooking up?” “Why does everything out of your mouth make me sound incestuous?” “Um, I wasn’t aware that it did. Perhaps you have a guilty conscience.” “Charley.” “Is there something you need to get off your chest? Besides that skank I saw you with the other day?
Darynda Jones