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Can I brush your hair?” she asked as she led the way, her disposition doing a 180 on a dime. Kids. Can’t live with ’em. Can’t eat ’em for lunch.

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Hair
Dime
Kids
Dimes
Live
Brush
Way
Brushes
Disposition
Ems
Lunch
Asked

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If I was going to go out tonight, I was going to go out fighting. Or screaming in agony. Either way.
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Want coffee? I asked, as I headed that way. It's three thirty in the morning. Okay. Want coffee?
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When fighting clowns, always go for the juggler.
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His gaze slid over me like a veil of fire. He could ignite my deepest desires with a single glance. I decided right then and there no more reading romance novels by candelight.
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I was white. Chalk had more color than I did. And quite possibly more personality.
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I went down like a drunken cowgirl trying to line dance to Metallica.
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Do not disturb. Already there.
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The police never find it as funny as you do.-T-Shirt
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She didn't smile back. Not even a little. I totally needed to read that book on how to win friends and influence people. But that would involve an innate desire to win friends and influence people.
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What do I look like, the ghost whisperer? They're loony. I'd have better luck talking to my cousin Alfonso's Chihuahua. At least Tía Juana knows Spanish. Your cousin's Chihuahua is named Tía Juana?
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What's your specialty? Oh, you know. Madness. Mayhem. Debauchery. And even with all that going for me, I can still make a mean mojito.
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Does Uncle Bob have anything? I heard he has an STD. I mean on the women. Oh, I have no idea if they have any STDs.
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Reyes Farrow. Because perfection is a dirty job, but someone has to do it.
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Give it up? Not likely. Besides, what else would I do? I totally should have gone to Hogwart's when I had the chance.
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Mistakes were made. Others were blamed.
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There comes a moment when you know you just aren't going to do anything esle productive for the rest of the day.-T-Shirt
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I meant to behave. There were just too many other options.--T-SHIRT
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I could be irksome when I put my left ventricle into it.
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You’re just using me for my body.” “You don’t have a body,” I’d remind him. “Throw that in my face.” “Technically, you don’t have a face either.
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I noticed you tore down Donovan's house. He lifted his gaze until it locked with mine. He's alive because he left town. His house chose to stay. It paid the price.
Darynda Jones