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What's your specialty? Oh, you know. Madness. Mayhem. Debauchery. And even with all that going for me, I can still make a mean mojito.

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Even
Going
Debauchery
Make
Mayhem
Specialty
Madness
Stills
Still
Mean

More quotes by Darynda Jones

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Does Uncle Bob have anything? I heard he has an STD. I mean on the women. Oh, I have no idea if they have any STDs.
Darynda Jones
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I can hear other things, too. Before you came around, I had no idea a man could make a girl scream like that. Reyes seems very talented.
Darynda Jones
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You were the one who hit me on the roof? I hit you on the jaw. We just happened to be on a roof at the time.
Darynda Jones
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I could be irksome when I put my left ventricle into it.
Darynda Jones
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Want coffee? I asked, as I headed that way. It's three thirty in the morning. Okay. Want coffee?
Darynda Jones
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I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. - T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones
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Pretending to drink coffee was similar to faking an orgasm.
Darynda Jones
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I was white. Chalk had more color than I did. And quite possibly more personality.
Darynda Jones
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Reyes Farrow. Because perfection is a dirty job, but someone has to do it.
Darynda Jones
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I could hardly be responsible for my actions when everyone around me gave me every opportunity to sink to their low expectations.
Darynda Jones
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Maybe I needed sensitivity training. I once signed up for an anger management class, but the instructor pissed me off.
Darynda Jones
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My plans often went awry. Much like my thoughts. Hold the phones. Maybe Saan had ADD, too. It would explain a lot.
Darynda Jones
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I went down like a drunken cowgirl trying to line dance to Metallica.
Darynda Jones
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guys have feelings too. But like...who cares? -Inspirational poster
Darynda Jones
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A Nuns Life: Chastity, poverty, and obedience. Wait, chastity? BUMPER STICKER
Darynda Jones
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I was just passing by. Saw the commotion. Figured you were involved.
Darynda Jones
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She still wasn't convinced. So, if you were a guy, would you be into me? Hon, if I were a guy, I'd be gay. Yeah, me, too.
Darynda Jones
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I'd have a longer attention span if there weren't so many shiny things.
Darynda Jones
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She shook her head then took off again, and I found myself struggling to keep up with her in my bunny slippers. With a sigh, I realized I was getting way too much exercise. I'd just have to counteract it later with cake.
Darynda Jones
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My real mom died when I was born—hemorrhaged to death while giving birth to me, which has never been one of my favorite memories—and Dad married Denise before I’d turned a year. Without even asking my opinion on the matter. Denise and I never really clicked.
Darynda Jones