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My plans often went awry. Much like my thoughts. Hold the phones. Maybe Saan had ADD, too. It would explain a lot.
Darynda Jones
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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
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Friona
Texas
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More quotes by Darynda Jones
I'd never taken to four foot creatures who had the uncanny ability to point out all my flaws in thirty second flat. And just for the record, I can too read without moving my lips.
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Honestly, he acted as though he didn't like me anymore. Wait, maybe he didn't. Do you still like me? I never liked you. Oh, right. He had a point. Garreth & Charley
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Mistakes were made. Others were blamed.
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I meant to behave. There were just too many other options.--T-SHIRT
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A Nuns Life: Chastity, poverty, and obedience. Wait, chastity? BUMPER STICKER
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Before I tell you, I have to know three things, I said. Okay. One, are you sitting down? Yes. Two, are you mentally stable? More than you'll ever be. Well, that was uncalled for. And three, how do you spell schizophrenia? What does that have to do with anything? Nothing. I just wanted to see if you'd tell me.
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I climbed into Misery and called Uncle Bob. “We hooking up?” “Why does everything out of your mouth make me sound incestuous?” “Um, I wasn’t aware that it did. Perhaps you have a guilty conscience.” “Charley.” “Is there something you need to get off your chest? Besides that skank I saw you with the other day?
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It’s all fun and games until someone loses a testicle. —T-SHIRT
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.. an emergency stash of Thin Mints. Frickin' Girl Scouts. Those things were way to addictive. They had to be laced with crack. Charlie Davidson Fourth Grave Beneath my Feet
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Insanity does NOT run in my family. It strolls through, takes it's time, and gets to know everyone personally - T-Shirt
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I can hear other things, too. Before you came around, I had no idea a man could make a girl scream like that. Reyes seems very talented.
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He's helped me a lot over the years. I'm sure he has. You scratch his back. He scratches yours. I have skin allergies. I'm itchy.
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Come here often?' I asked instead, humoring no one but myself. So it was totally worth it.
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If it weren’t for physics and law enforcement, I’d be unstoppable.
Darynda Jones
Hello? I said, because Charley's House of Pasties seemed wrong.
Darynda Jones
Death comes to those who wait. And to those who don't. So either way.
Darynda Jones
When fighting clowns, always go for the juggler.
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I chose the road less traveled. Now I'm lost.
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I pointed in the general vicinity of my left ovary, This is Beam Me Up. Then to my right. And this is Scotty. Garret chuckled and buried his face in his hands. He asked.
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But have you ever seen one?....They shook their heads. Not Physically, no. But if you look at this passage - Man, she liked that Bible. I'd read it and could definitely understand it's appeal, but I didn't have time for this.
Darynda Jones