Quote

What do I look like, the ghost whisperer? They're loony. I'd have better luck talking to my cousin Alfonso's Chihuahua. At least Tía Juana knows Spanish. Your cousin's Chihuahua is named Tía Juana?

Darynda Jones

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Better
Chihuahua
Look
Spanish
Looks
Cousin
Like
Named
Ghost
Luck
Least
Whisperer
Talking
Loony

More quotes by Darynda Jones

Image
You can't fix stupid, but you can numb it was a 2 by 4.--T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones
Image
I climbed into Misery and called Uncle Bob. “We hooking up?” “Why does everything out of your mouth make me sound incestuous?” “Um, I wasn’t aware that it did. Perhaps you have a guilty conscience.” “Charley.” “Is there something you need to get off your chest? Besides that skank I saw you with the other day?
Darynda Jones
Image
It isn’t the fall that will kill you, but the sudden stop.
Darynda Jones
Image
Whatever makes your balloon red, Swopes.
Darynda Jones
Image
I'd have a longer attention span if there weren't so many shiny things.
Darynda Jones
Image
There was nothing like a trip to the gynecologist to make one feel just a little violated. Charley
Darynda Jones
Image
When I want your opinion, I'll remove the duct tape.--T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones
Image
We stood there, the three of us, our jaws firmly planted on the floor. Aunt Lil recovered first. She nudged me with her elbow and said with a cackle of delight, I think you guys should make some more of those brownies, 'cause that boy looks hungry.
Darynda Jones
Image
There is nothing to fear but fear itself. And spiders. ~Bumper sticker~
Darynda Jones
Image
Okay, I'll strip. I'll tap dance. I'll sing 'La Cucaracha' in C minor.
Darynda Jones
Image
I'm a virgin. But this is an old shirt. --T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones
Image
If it weren’t for physics and law enforcement, I’d be unstoppable.
Darynda Jones
Image
Ask me about my complete lack of interest. (T-shirt)
Darynda Jones
Image
She didn't smile back. Not even a little. I totally needed to read that book on how to win friends and influence people. But that would involve an innate desire to win friends and influence people.
Darynda Jones
Image
When life hands you lemons say, Lemons? What else have you got? - bumper sticker
Darynda Jones
Image
I know, he said in almost bored contemplation. My manners suck. I like to chalk it up to a dissatisfying childhood. I'd chalk it up to that narcissistic personality disorder laces with a smidgen of schizophrenia. Your mother would be proud.
Darynda Jones
Image
I know how you feel. I’ve been analyzed to death as well. Not, like, professionally, though I did date a psych major who said I had attention issues. Or at least that’s what I think he said. I wasn’t really paying attention. Anyway, where was I?
Darynda Jones
Image
Where you just possessed? Cookie asked after a long moment, awe softening her voice. 'Cause let me tell you, sweetheart, if that was possession, I'm selling my soul.
Darynda Jones
Image
Maybe I needed sensitivity training. I once signed up for an anger management class, but the instructor pissed me off.
Darynda Jones
Image
How would you like your eggs? I tried. I really did. But I glanced at his crotch and it came out anyway. Fertilized?
Darynda Jones