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He's helped me a lot over the years. I'm sure he has. You scratch his back. He scratches yours. I have skin allergies. I'm itchy.

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Back
Itchy
Years
Allergies
Scratch
Scratches
Helped
Skin
Skins
Sure

More quotes by Darynda Jones

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My real mom died when I was born—hemorrhaged to death while giving birth to me, which has never been one of my favorite memories—and Dad married Denise before I’d turned a year. Without even asking my opinion on the matter. Denise and I never really clicked.
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Reyes Farrow. Because perfection is a dirty job, but someone has to do it.
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Then I asked her if she wanted to to the funeral, and my God, the look on her face. You'd think I'd asked her to drown the neighbor's cat. Admittedly, drowning the neighbor's cat didn't really clue me in as much as I would've liked. So, she was angry? He blinked back to me and stared. Like a long time.
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If it weren’t for physics and law enforcement, I’d be unstoppable.
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.. an emergency stash of Thin Mints. Frickin' Girl Scouts. Those things were way to addictive. They had to be laced with crack. Charlie Davidson Fourth Grave Beneath my Feet
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He seemed determines, his resolve unwavering. This would take tact. Prudence. Possible Milk Duds.
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What did one say to a stalker? Um, pardon me, Mr.Stalker, but could you, like, not?
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Maybe I needed sensitivity training. I once signed up for an anger management class, but the instructor pissed me off.
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I lowered the gun but didn’t holster it. Not just yet. She could turn out to be psychotic. Or a door-to-door salesperson.
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I may not have any skeletons in my closet, but I do have a little box of souls in my sock drawer. —T-SHIRT
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But have you ever seen one?....They shook their heads. Not Physically, no. But if you look at this passage - Man, she liked that Bible. I'd read it and could definitely understand it's appeal, but I didn't have time for this.
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I meant to behave. There were just too many other options.--T-SHIRT
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Man, that woman was quick when she wanted to be. But put her behind the wheel of a Buick.
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I had yet to be a mother, but I would have thought it difficult to forget something it took thirty-seven hours of excruciating pain to push out from between my legs ~Charley Davidson
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That you honestly believe I am capable of hurting innocent people for no reason.” “You’re not?” I asked, hope softening my voice. “Oh, no, I’m more than capable. I just didn’t realize you knew that.
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You were the one who hit me on the roof? I hit you on the jaw. We just happened to be on a roof at the time.
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Where you just possessed? Cookie asked after a long moment, awe softening her voice. 'Cause let me tell you, sweetheart, if that was possession, I'm selling my soul.
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Still, this whole grim reaper thing should have come with a manual. Or a diagram of some kind. A flowchart would have been nice.
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In Cookie's defense, it was raining wildcats and rabid dogs.
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I totally should've gone to Hogwarts when I had the chance.
Darynda Jones