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He's helped me a lot over the years. I'm sure he has. You scratch his back. He scratches yours. I have skin allergies. I'm itchy.

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Scratch
Scratches
Helped
Skin
Skins
Sure
Back
Itchy
Years
Allergies

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You were the one who hit me on the roof? I hit you on the jaw. We just happened to be on a roof at the time.
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I went down like a drunken cowgirl trying to line dance to Metallica.
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There is a great need for a sarcasm font.
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Where you just possessed? Cookie asked after a long moment, awe softening her voice. 'Cause let me tell you, sweetheart, if that was possession, I'm selling my soul.
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Whatever makes your balloon red, Swopes.
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Life is not about finding yourself. It's mostly about chocolate. T-Shirt
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Do not disturb. Already there.
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Hey, I'm going to Super Dog for a quick bite and to pass along a message from a dead guy to his girlfriend. You should come with me. I can't go with you. Is it because of my questionable morals? No, it's because it's three o'clock in the afternoon and I have to pick up Amber from school. Oh, right. So the morals thing doesn't bothe
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SARC- was my second favorite -ASM word
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I could hardly be responsible for my actions when everyone around me gave me every opportunity to sink to their low expectations.
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Dead people I could handle. They were usually beyond hysteria. This was the people-left behind part. The hard part.
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If life hands you lemons,keep them. Because, hey, free lemons.-T-Shirt
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A Nuns Life: Chastity, poverty, and obedience. Wait, chastity? BUMPER STICKER
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Man, that woman was quick when she wanted to be. But put her behind the wheel of a Buick.
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Okay, I’ll put someone on it. But you know, the Albuquerque Police Department wasn’t really created to find things out for you.” “Really? That’s weird.
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She shook her head then took off again, and I found myself struggling to keep up with her in my bunny slippers. With a sigh, I realized I was getting way too much exercise. I'd just have to counteract it later with cake.
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I sort of got off on making bad guys sweat. Which was not unlike my love of making good guys sweat, just by very different means.
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Cookie had taken her daughter amber to school then walked the thirty-something feet to work earlier. Our business was on the second floor of Calamity's, my dad's bar, which sat right in front of our apartment building. The short commute was nice and rarely invloved rabid raccoons.
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Let me express how much I don't care on a scale of one to bite me, the former detective said.
Darynda Jones
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Pretending to drink coffee was similar to faking an orgasm.
Darynda Jones