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He's helped me a lot over the years. I'm sure he has. You scratch his back. He scratches yours. I have skin allergies. I'm itchy.

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Skin
Skins
Sure
Back
Itchy
Years
Allergies
Scratch
Scratches
Helped

More quotes by Darynda Jones

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Have they even seen the Winchester boys? Sammy and Dean's existence proves there is a god and she is a woman.
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Do not disturb. Already there.
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Glitch was about as wild and unpredictable as a carrot stick.
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Hey, I'm going to Super Dog for a quick bite and to pass along a message from a dead guy to his girlfriend. You should come with me. I can't go with you. Is it because of my questionable morals? No, it's because it's three o'clock in the afternoon and I have to pick up Amber from school. Oh, right. So the morals thing doesn't bothe
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She still wasn't convinced. So, if you were a guy, would you be into me? Hon, if I were a guy, I'd be gay. Yeah, me, too.
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He seemed determines, his resolve unwavering. This would take tact. Prudence. Possible Milk Duds.
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I was white. Chalk had more color than I did. And quite possibly more personality.
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What do I look like, the ghost whisperer? They're loony. I'd have better luck talking to my cousin Alfonso's Chihuahua. At least Tía Juana knows Spanish. Your cousin's Chihuahua is named Tía Juana?
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After a geological epoch passed in which single-celled organisms evolved into talk show hosts, Mr. Coffee was still holding out on me.
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I had yet to be a mother, but I would have thought it difficult to forget something it took thirty-seven hours of excruciating pain to push out from between my legs ~Charley Davidson
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You were the one who hit me on the roof? I hit you on the jaw. We just happened to be on a roof at the time.
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I could be irksome when I put my left ventricle into it.
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I meant to behave. There were just too many other options.--T-SHIRT
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Who is Dr. A. von Holstein? And is he related, by chance, to a race of cows?
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Honestly, he acted as though he didn't like me anymore. Wait, maybe he didn't. Do you still like me? I never liked you. Oh, right. He had a point. Garreth & Charley
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This place is like crazy on crackers.
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Ask me about my complete lack of interest. (T-shirt)
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The funny thing about GPS was it didn’t always send you in the right direction. I knew that if I took a right and took Twelfth instead, I’d get there faster, so I turned right. Ozzy did not approve. “Wut the foock?
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Pretending to drink coffee was similar to faking an orgasm.
Darynda Jones
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But, you're his son, I said, trying really hard to hate him. You're the son of Satan. Literally. And you are the stepdaughter of Denise Davidson. Wow. That was a bit harsh, but, Okay, point taken.
Darynda Jones