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She still wasn't convinced. So, if you were a guy, would you be into me? Hon, if I were a guy, I'd be gay. Yeah, me, too.

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Convinced
Yeah
Wasn
Guy
Stills
Still
Would
Gay

More quotes by Darynda Jones

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I love children, but I don't think I can eat a whole one.- Bumper sticker
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Okay, I’ll put someone on it. But you know, the Albuquerque Police Department wasn’t really created to find things out for you.” “Really? That’s weird.
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How would you like your eggs? I tried. I really did. But I glanced at his crotch and it came out anyway. Fertilized?
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There comes a moment when you know you just aren't going to do anything esle productive for the rest of the day.-T-Shirt
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Want coffee? I asked, as I headed that way. It's three thirty in the morning. Okay. Want coffee?
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If it weren’t for physics and law enforcement, I’d be unstoppable.
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I had yet to be a mother, but I would have thought it difficult to forget something it took thirty-seven hours of excruciating pain to push out from between my legs ~Charley Davidson
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My powers of persuasion are only as strong as the bullshit I have to back it up. - Charley Davidson
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I may as well cut my losses and make a hasty exit while I still had enough self-esteem to walk upright. Crawling was so demoralizing
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SOME GIRLS WEAR PRADA. SOME GIRLS WEAR GLOCK 17 SHORT RECOIL SPRING-LOADED SEMIAUTOMATIC PISTOLS WITH A LOADED CHAMBER INDICATOR AND A NONSLIP GRIP. - T-SHIRT
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I could hardly be responsible for my actions when everyone around me gave me every opportunity to sink to their low expectations.
Darynda Jones
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After a long, labored sigh, I said, “She was really happy when I got there. I’m pretty sure she was suicidal when I left.” “You do have that effect on people.
Darynda Jones
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Apparently, this really was Kill Charley Davidson Week. Or at least Horribly Maim Her.... It would probably never get government recognition, though, destined to be underappreciated like Halloween or Thesaurus Day.
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You were the one who hit me on the roof? I hit you on the jaw. We just happened to be on a roof at the time.
Darynda Jones
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Let me express how much I don't care on a scale of one to bite me, the former detective said.
Darynda Jones
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The dead guy looked at me with wide eyes. “I can’t move my legs.” I snorted. “You can’t move your arms either, or your feet or your freaking eyelids. You’re dead.
Darynda Jones
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Oh, and she told me that men want only one thing. And on that note, I must give praise and thanks to the powers that be. I don't want much else from them either.
Darynda Jones
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When fighting clowns, always go for the juggler.
Darynda Jones
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There is a great need for a sarcasm font.
Darynda Jones
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I know how you feel. I’ve been analyzed to death as well. Not, like, professionally, though I did date a psych major who said I had attention issues. Or at least that’s what I think he said. I wasn’t really paying attention. Anyway, where was I?
Darynda Jones