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The funny thing about GPS was it didn’t always send you in the right direction. I knew that if I took a right and took Twelfth instead, I’d get there faster, so I turned right. Ozzy did not approve. “Wut the foock?

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Took
Instead
Twelfth
Knew
Ozzy
Funny
Approve
Didn
Send
Right
Faster
Thing
Direction
Always
Turned

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I noticed you tore down Donovan's house. He lifted his gaze until it locked with mine. He's alive because he left town. His house chose to stay. It paid the price.
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Mistakes were made. Others were blamed.
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Hey, I'm going to Super Dog for a quick bite and to pass along a message from a dead guy to his girlfriend. You should come with me. I can't go with you. Is it because of my questionable morals? No, it's because it's three o'clock in the afternoon and I have to pick up Amber from school. Oh, right. So the morals thing doesn't bothe
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Death comes to those who wait. And to those who don't. So either way.
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I pointed in the general vicinity of my left ovary, This is Beam Me Up. Then to my right. And this is Scotty. Garret chuckled and buried his face in his hands. He asked.
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Man, that woman was quick when she wanted to be. But put her behind the wheel of a Buick.
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You can't fix stupid, but you can numb it was a 2 by 4.--T-SHIRT
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I shifted in my chair as Dad waited for a response. He seemed determined, his resolve unwavering. This would take tact. Prudence. Possibly Milk Duds. “Are you psychotic?” I asked, realizing my plan to charm and bribe him if need be flew out the window the minute I opened my mouth.
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If life hands you lemons,keep them. Because, hey, free lemons.-T-Shirt
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Give it up? Not likely. Besides, what else would I do? I totally should have gone to Hogwart's when I had the chance.
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Reyes Farrow. Because perfection is a dirty job, but someone has to do it.
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You take everything onto your shoulders like that guy who holds up the world, and you shouldn’t. You’re not nearly as muscular.
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Maybe I needed sensitivity training. I once signed up for an anger management class, but the instructor pissed me off.
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There is nothing to fear but fear itself. And spiders. ~Bumper sticker~
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Before I tell you, I have to know three things, I said. Okay. One, are you sitting down? Yes. Two, are you mentally stable? More than you'll ever be. Well, that was uncalled for. And three, how do you spell schizophrenia? What does that have to do with anything? Nothing. I just wanted to see if you'd tell me.
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Dead people I could handle. They were usually beyond hysteria. This was the people-left behind part. The hard part.
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If I was going to go out tonight, I was going to go out fighting. Or screaming in agony. Either way.
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I can hear other things, too. Before you came around, I had no idea a man could make a girl scream like that. Reyes seems very talented.
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I'd never taken to four foot creatures who had the uncanny ability to point out all my flaws in thirty second flat. And just for the record, I can too read without moving my lips.
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