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The funny thing about GPS was it didn’t always send you in the right direction. I knew that if I took a right and took Twelfth instead, I’d get there faster, so I turned right. Ozzy did not approve. “Wut the foock?

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Always
Turned
Took
Instead
Twelfth
Knew
Ozzy
Funny
Approve
Didn
Send
Right
Faster
Thing
Direction

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There is a great need for a sarcasm font.
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SARC- was my second favorite -ASM word
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After a long, labored sigh, I said, “She was really happy when I got there. I’m pretty sure she was suicidal when I left.” “You do have that effect on people.
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Then I asked her if she wanted to to the funeral, and my God, the look on her face. You'd think I'd asked her to drown the neighbor's cat. Admittedly, drowning the neighbor's cat didn't really clue me in as much as I would've liked. So, she was angry? He blinked back to me and stared. Like a long time.
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guys have feelings too. But like...who cares? -Inspirational poster
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Death comes to those who wait. And to those who don't. So either way.
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I love children, but I don't think I can eat a whole one.- Bumper sticker
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I meant to behave. There were just too many other options.--T-SHIRT
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Just in case, though, I stormed into my apartment, tossed a quick hello to Mr. Wong, then rummaged through my entertainment center to lay out all my exorcism equipment. I kept it in my entertainment center because exorcisms were nothing if not entertaining.
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