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I may not have any skeletons in my closet, but I do have a little box of souls in my sock drawer. —T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones
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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
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Friona
Texas
May
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More quotes by Darynda Jones
In Cookie's defense, it was raining wildcats and rabid dogs.
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I knew dating the son of Satan would turn out badly
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When I want your opinion, I'll remove the duct tape.--T-SHIRT
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Reyes leaned back against the bar, crossed his arms over his chest, and studied me from beneath those same ridiculously long lashes. Men and their freaking lashes. It was so unfair. Like the exorbitant cost of designer shoes. Or world hunger.
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Where you just possessed? Cookie asked after a long moment, awe softening her voice. 'Cause let me tell you, sweetheart, if that was possession, I'm selling my soul.
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I was white. Chalk had more color than I did. And quite possibly more personality.
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If I couldn't be a good example, I'd just have to be a horrible warning.
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When fighting clowns, always go for the juggler.
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You can’t have him, okay,” she said from behind the wire barrier. “Mm-hmm,” I whispered. “This is certainly a beautiful neighborhood.” “Yeah, I guess.” “I will scratch those eyes out of your ugly head.
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See you in a few. Hold down the fort, Mr. Wong!
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Felt my heartbeat falter, hesitate, then stumble awkwardly forward, tripping on the next beat, then the next, faster and faster until each one tumbled into the other like the drumroll of dominoes crashing together. Funny how time stands still when death is imminent.
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Friends don't let friends get killed by serial killers
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Can I brush your hair?” she asked as she led the way, her disposition doing a 180 on a dime. Kids. Can’t live with ’em. Can’t eat ’em for lunch.
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I could hardly be responsible for my actions when everyone around me gave me every opportunity to sink to their low expectations.
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I love children, but I don't think I can eat a whole one.- Bumper sticker
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Does Uncle Bob have anything? I heard he has an STD. I mean on the women. Oh, I have no idea if they have any STDs.
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After a long, labored sigh, I said, “She was really happy when I got there. I’m pretty sure she was suicidal when I left.” “You do have that effect on people.
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What do I look like, the ghost whisperer? They're loony. I'd have better luck talking to my cousin Alfonso's Chihuahua. At least Tía Juana knows Spanish. Your cousin's Chihuahua is named Tía Juana?
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A Nuns Life: Chastity, poverty, and obedience. Wait, chastity? BUMPER STICKER
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My plans often went awry. Much like my thoughts. Hold the phones. Maybe Saan had ADD, too. It would explain a lot.
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