Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
How would you like your eggs? I tried. I really did. But I glanced at his crotch and it came out anyway. Fertilized?
Darynda Jones
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Tried
Came
Really
Would
Fertilized
Like
Crotch
Glanced
Eggs
Anyway
More quotes by Darynda Jones
I sort of got off on making bad guys sweat. Which was not unlike my love of making good guys sweat, just by very different means.
Darynda Jones
Give it up? Not likely. Besides, what else would I do? I totally should have gone to Hogwart's when I had the chance.
Darynda Jones
The funny thing about GPS was it didn’t always send you in the right direction. I knew that if I took a right and took Twelfth instead, I’d get there faster, so I turned right. Ozzy did not approve. “Wut the foock?
Darynda Jones
When fighting clowns, always go for the juggler.
Darynda Jones
guys have feelings too. But like...who cares? -Inspirational poster
Darynda Jones
I pointed in the general vicinity of my left ovary, This is Beam Me Up. Then to my right. And this is Scotty. Garret chuckled and buried his face in his hands. He asked.
Darynda Jones
I could be irksome when I put my left ventricle into it.
Darynda Jones
I did that thing where you scratch your eyebrow and flip someone off at the same time. I'm good at multitasking like that.
Darynda Jones
I totally should've gone to Hogwarts when I had the chance.
Darynda Jones
He had threatened my parents. I had to remember that. Still, it was really hard to stay mad at a wounded naked man.
Darynda Jones
I meant to behave. There were just too many other options.--T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones
If life hands you lemons,keep them. Because, hey, free lemons.-T-Shirt
Darynda Jones
Have you slept yet?' 'Sure. I took a power nap on the way over.' 'Didn't you drive there?' 'Yeah. Other drviers kept waking me up. Car horns should be illegal.' - Charley & Cookie
Darynda Jones
See you in a few. Hold down the fort, Mr. Wong!
Darynda Jones
Man, that woman was quick when she wanted to be. But put her behind the wheel of a Buick.
Darynda Jones
The point is, stories can be all lengths. Never underestimate the power of “less is more.
Darynda Jones
I may not have any skeletons in my closet, but I do have a little box of souls in my sock drawer. —T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones
My powers of persuasion are only as strong as the bullshit I have to back it up. - Charley Davidson
Darynda Jones
That you honestly believe I am capable of hurting innocent people for no reason.” “You’re not?” I asked, hope softening my voice. “Oh, no, I’m more than capable. I just didn’t realize you knew that.
Darynda Jones
Apparently, this really was Kill Charley Davidson Week. Or at least Horribly Maim Her.... It would probably never get government recognition, though, destined to be underappreciated like Halloween or Thesaurus Day.
Darynda Jones