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I'm a virgin. But this is an old shirt. --T-SHIRT

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
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Friona
Texas
Virgin
Virgins
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More quotes by Darynda Jones

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But have you ever seen one?....They shook their heads. Not Physically, no. But if you look at this passage - Man, she liked that Bible. I'd read it and could definitely understand it's appeal, but I didn't have time for this.
Darynda Jones
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It isn’t the fall that will kill you, but the sudden stop.
Darynda Jones
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How would you like your eggs? I tried. I really did. But I glanced at his crotch and it came out anyway. Fertilized?
Darynda Jones
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She still wasn't convinced. So, if you were a guy, would you be into me? Hon, if I were a guy, I'd be gay. Yeah, me, too.
Darynda Jones
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He said you sparkle like a newborn galaxy and have more attitude than a rich kid with his daddy's Porsche.
Darynda Jones
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Mistakes were made. Others were blamed.
Darynda Jones
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Does Uncle Bob have anything? I heard he has an STD. I mean on the women. Oh, I have no idea if they have any STDs.
Darynda Jones
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Who is Dr. A. von Holstein? And is he related, by chance, to a race of cows?
Darynda Jones
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I’m Charlotte Davidson: private investigator, police consultant, all -around badass. Or I could’ve been a badass, had I stuck with those lessons in mixed martial arts. I was only in that class to learn how to kill people with paper.
Darynda Jones
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This place is like crazy on crackers.
Darynda Jones
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I sort of got off on making bad guys sweat. Which was not unlike my love of making good guys sweat, just by very different means.
Darynda Jones
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I totally should've gone to Hogwarts when I had the chance.
Darynda Jones
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Dead people I could handle. They were usually beyond hysteria. This was the people-left behind part. The hard part.
Darynda Jones
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Drink coffee! Do stupid things faster and with more energy!
Darynda Jones
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God I loved Sammy. I’d considered marrying him, but his wife got upset when I asked for his hand.
Darynda Jones
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You take everything onto your shoulders like that guy who holds up the world, and you shouldn’t. You’re not nearly as muscular.
Darynda Jones
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Death comes to those who wait. And to those who don't. So either way.
Darynda Jones
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He had given me so much information, I wanted some time to absorb it all, but I didn't want to leave him. Not like this. Not ever, as long as I lived. Or until I had to get back on the case. Whichever came first.
Darynda Jones
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Oh, and she told me that men want only one thing. And on that note, I must give praise and thanks to the powers that be. I don't want much else from them either.
Darynda Jones
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Chocolate and coffee ? Together ? Whoever came up with that combination should have won a Nobel Peace Prize. Or at least a subscription to Reader's Digest.
Darynda Jones