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I'm a virgin. But this is an old shirt. --T-SHIRT

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Shirts
Virgin
Virgins
Shirt

More quotes by Darynda Jones

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Mistakes were made. Others were blamed.
Darynda Jones
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She didn't smile back. Not even a little. I totally needed to read that book on how to win friends and influence people. But that would involve an innate desire to win friends and influence people.
Darynda Jones
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Have you slept yet?' 'Sure. I took a power nap on the way over.' 'Didn't you drive there?' 'Yeah. Other drviers kept waking me up. Car horns should be illegal.' - Charley & Cookie
Darynda Jones
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I totally should've gone to Hogwarts when I had the chance.
Darynda Jones
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I meant to behave. There were just too many other options.--T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones
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Ask me about my complete lack of interest. (T-shirt)
Darynda Jones
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Life is not about finding yourself. It's mostly about chocolate. T-Shirt
Darynda Jones
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His gaze slid over me like a veil of fire. He could ignite my deepest desires with a single glance. I decided right then and there no more reading romance novels by candelight.
Darynda Jones
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Friends don't let friends get killed by serial killers
Darynda Jones
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He's helped me a lot over the years. I'm sure he has. You scratch his back. He scratches yours. I have skin allergies. I'm itchy.
Darynda Jones
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That boy needs a hobby. Stalking is a hobby. So is serial killing.
Darynda Jones
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How would you like your eggs? I tried. I really did. But I glanced at his crotch and it came out anyway. Fertilized?
Darynda Jones
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Cookie had taken her daughter amber to school then walked the thirty-something feet to work earlier. Our business was on the second floor of Calamity's, my dad's bar, which sat right in front of our apartment building. The short commute was nice and rarely invloved rabid raccoons.
Darynda Jones
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Does Uncle Bob have anything? I heard he has an STD. I mean on the women. Oh, I have no idea if they have any STDs.
Darynda Jones
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Paperwork wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for all the paper. And the work.
Darynda Jones
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He had threatened my parents. I had to remember that. Still, it was really hard to stay mad at a wounded naked man.
Darynda Jones
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He was like chocolate-covered heroin, and I was an addict through and through.
Darynda Jones
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He bombarded me with words, of all things, apparently clueless to the fact that the predawn hours rendered me incapable of coherent thought.
Darynda Jones
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Man, I want to be someone's forbidden fruit. Well, you are pretty fruity.
Darynda Jones
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Before I tell you, I have to know three things, I said. Okay. One, are you sitting down? Yes. Two, are you mentally stable? More than you'll ever be. Well, that was uncalled for. And three, how do you spell schizophrenia? What does that have to do with anything? Nothing. I just wanted to see if you'd tell me.
Darynda Jones