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Pretending to drink coffee was similar to faking an orgasm.

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Drink
Orgasm
Faking
Pretending
Similar
Coffee

More quotes by Darynda Jones

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If life hands you lemons,keep them. Because, hey, free lemons.-T-Shirt
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Dead people I could handle. They were usually beyond hysteria. This was the people-left behind part. The hard part.
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.. an emergency stash of Thin Mints. Frickin' Girl Scouts. Those things were way to addictive. They had to be laced with crack. Charlie Davidson Fourth Grave Beneath my Feet
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If it weren’t for physics and law enforcement, I’d be unstoppable.
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There is nothing to fear but fear itself. And spiders. ~Bumper sticker~
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He bombarded me with words, of all things, apparently clueless to the fact that the predawn hours rendered me incapable of coherent thought.
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He had threatened my parents. I had to remember that. Still, it was really hard to stay mad at a wounded naked man.
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Paperwork wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for all the paper. And the work.
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See you in a few. Hold down the fort, Mr. Wong!
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A Nuns Life: Chastity, poverty, and obedience. Wait, chastity? BUMPER STICKER
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I can hear other things, too. Before you came around, I had no idea a man could make a girl scream like that. Reyes seems very talented.
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In Cookie's defense, it was raining wildcats and rabid dogs.
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Who knew that all this time the nectar of the Gods was in my va-jay-jay.
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You’re just using me for my body.” “You don’t have a body,” I’d remind him. “Throw that in my face.” “Technically, you don’t have a face either.
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I know how you feel. I’ve been analyzed to death as well. Not, like, professionally, though I did date a psych major who said I had attention issues. Or at least that’s what I think he said. I wasn’t really paying attention. Anyway, where was I?
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I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. - T-SHIRT
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Surely my macking on some guy in an insane asylum wouldn't hurt him. He'd been living with his stalker, for heaven's sake.
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I knew dating the son of Satan would turn out badly
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I could hardly be responsible for my actions when everyone around me gave me every opportunity to sink to their low expectations.
Darynda Jones
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I'd never taken to four foot creatures who had the uncanny ability to point out all my flaws in thirty second flat. And just for the record, I can too read without moving my lips.
Darynda Jones