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Pretending to drink coffee was similar to faking an orgasm.

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Similar
Coffee
Drink
Orgasm
Faking
Pretending

More quotes by Darynda Jones

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He’d actually hit me! It didn’t matter that hitting me wasn’t really like hitting a regular girl and I’d be completely healed in a matter of hours. I was still a freaking girl, and he damned well knew it. I’d just have to hit him back. With a lead pipe. Or an eighteen-wheeler.
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Don't judge me because I'm quiet. No one plans a murder out loud.
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―You realize I can hear you without the annoying intercom. Cookie and I both leaned forward and looked at each other through the doorway. ―But this is more fun, I said. ―More Star Trekkie.
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If it weren’t for physics and law enforcement, I’d be unstoppable.
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Mistakes were made. Others were blamed.
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You can’t have him, okay,” she said from behind the wire barrier. “Mm-hmm,” I whispered. “This is certainly a beautiful neighborhood.” “Yeah, I guess.” “I will scratch those eyes out of your ugly head.
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Hello? I said, because Charley's House of Pasties seemed wrong.
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This place is like crazy on crackers.
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I often question my sanity. Occasionally, it replies.
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I did that thing where you scratch your eyebrow and flip someone off at the same time. I'm good at multitasking like that.
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When I want your opinion, I'll remove the duct tape.--T-SHIRT
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I was white. Chalk had more color than I did. And quite possibly more personality.
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The point is, stories can be all lengths. Never underestimate the power of “less is more.
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What do I look like, the ghost whisperer? They're loony. I'd have better luck talking to my cousin Alfonso's Chihuahua. At least Tía Juana knows Spanish. Your cousin's Chihuahua is named Tía Juana?
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Apparently, this really was Kill Charley Davidson Week. Or at least Horribly Maim Her.... It would probably never get government recognition, though, destined to be underappreciated like Halloween or Thesaurus Day.
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God I loved Sammy. I’d considered marrying him, but his wife got upset when I asked for his hand.
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Let me express how much I don't care on a scale of one to bite me, the former detective said.
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After a geological epoch passed in which single-celled organisms evolved into talk show hosts, Mr. Coffee was still holding out on me.
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I pointed in the general vicinity of my left ovary, This is Beam Me Up. Then to my right. And this is Scotty. Garret chuckled and buried his face in his hands. He asked.
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A Nuns Life: Chastity, poverty, and obedience. Wait, chastity? BUMPER STICKER
Darynda Jones