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Pretending to drink coffee was similar to faking an orgasm.

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Orgasm
Faking
Pretending
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Coffee
Drink

More quotes by Darynda Jones

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An integral part of any best friend's job is to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
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Cookie had taken her daughter amber to school then walked the thirty-something feet to work earlier. Our business was on the second floor of Calamity's, my dad's bar, which sat right in front of our apartment building. The short commute was nice and rarely invloved rabid raccoons.
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Yeah, but what happens if life hands me pickles? - Bumper sticker
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I shifted in my chair as Dad waited for a response. He seemed determined, his resolve unwavering. This would take tact. Prudence. Possibly Milk Duds. “Are you psychotic?” I asked, realizing my plan to charm and bribe him if need be flew out the window the minute I opened my mouth.
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There was nothing like a trip to the gynecologist to make one feel just a little violated. Charley
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I often question my sanity. Occasionally, it replies.
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Give it up? Not likely. Besides, what else would I do? I totally should have gone to Hogwart's when I had the chance.
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Come here often?' I asked instead, humoring no one but myself. So it was totally worth it.
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You can't fix stupid, but you can numb it was a 2 by 4.--T-SHIRT
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He was like chocolate-covered heroin, and I was an addict through and through.
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Does Uncle Bob have anything? I heard he has an STD. I mean on the women. Oh, I have no idea if they have any STDs.
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SOME GIRLS WEAR PRADA. SOME GIRLS WEAR GLOCK 17 SHORT RECOIL SPRING-LOADED SEMIAUTOMATIC PISTOLS WITH A LOADED CHAMBER INDICATOR AND A NONSLIP GRIP. - T-SHIRT
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Life is not about finding yourself. It's mostly about chocolate. T-Shirt
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If life hands you lemons,keep them. Because, hey, free lemons.-T-Shirt
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If I couldn't be a good example, I'd just have to be a horrible warning.
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But we'd never really seen eye to eye. Mostly 'cause he was much taller than I was.
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Do not disturb. Already there.
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Who knew that all this time the nectar of the Gods was in my va-jay-jay.
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.. an emergency stash of Thin Mints. Frickin' Girl Scouts. Those things were way to addictive. They had to be laced with crack. Charlie Davidson Fourth Grave Beneath my Feet
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See you in a few. Hold down the fort, Mr. Wong!
Darynda Jones