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She didn't smile back. Not even a little. I totally needed to read that book on how to win friends and influence people. But that would involve an innate desire to win friends and influence people.

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Book
Winning
Even
Friends
Would
Read
Involve
People
Desire
Innate
Didn
Totally
Littles
Smile
Back
Needed
Little
Influence

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If it weren’t for physics and law enforcement, I’d be unstoppable.
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Let me express how much I don't care on a scale of one to bite me, the former detective said.
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Man, I want to be someone's forbidden fruit. Well, you are pretty fruity.
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I sort of got off on making bad guys sweat. Which was not unlike my love of making good guys sweat, just by very different means.
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But have you ever seen one?....They shook their heads. Not Physically, no. But if you look at this passage - Man, she liked that Bible. I'd read it and could definitely understand it's appeal, but I didn't have time for this.
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If I was going to go out tonight, I was going to go out fighting. Or screaming in agony. Either way.
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You’re the reason I breathe
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Come here often?' I asked instead, humoring no one but myself. So it was totally worth it.
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Man, that woman was quick when she wanted to be. But put her behind the wheel of a Buick.
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Mistakes were made. Others were blamed.
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But we'd never really seen eye to eye. Mostly 'cause he was much taller than I was.
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I can hear other things, too. Before you came around, I had no idea a man could make a girl scream like that. Reyes seems very talented.
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See you in a few. Hold down the fort, Mr. Wong!
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―You realize I can hear you without the annoying intercom. Cookie and I both leaned forward and looked at each other through the doorway. ―But this is more fun, I said. ―More Star Trekkie.
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Don't judge me because I'm quiet. No one plans a murder out loud.
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I knew dating the son of Satan would turn out badly
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She blinked at me, then realized I was panicking. Honestly, it was like admitting to murder before being interrogated. “Ms. Davidson,” she began, but I decided to trip her up, to throw her off the trail of blood I’d left like an injured animal. “I don’t speak English.
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I climbed into Misery and called Uncle Bob. “We hooking up?” “Why does everything out of your mouth make me sound incestuous?” “Um, I wasn’t aware that it did. Perhaps you have a guilty conscience.” “Charley.” “Is there something you need to get off your chest? Besides that skank I saw you with the other day?
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How would you like your eggs? I tried. I really did. But I glanced at his crotch and it came out anyway. Fertilized?
Darynda Jones
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I totally should've gone to Hogwarts when I had the chance.
Darynda Jones