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She didn't smile back. Not even a little. I totally needed to read that book on how to win friends and influence people. But that would involve an innate desire to win friends and influence people.

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Even
Friends
Would
Read
Involve
People
Desire
Innate
Didn
Totally
Littles
Smile
Back
Needed
Little
Influence
Book
Winning

More quotes by Darynda Jones

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If I was going to go out tonight, I was going to go out fighting. Or screaming in agony. Either way.
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In Cookie's defense, it was raining wildcats and rabid dogs.
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Okay, I’ll put someone on it. But you know, the Albuquerque Police Department wasn’t really created to find things out for you.” “Really? That’s weird.
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Glitch was about as wild and unpredictable as a carrot stick.
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Mistakes were made. Others were blamed.
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I climbed into Misery and called Uncle Bob. “We hooking up?” “Why does everything out of your mouth make me sound incestuous?” “Um, I wasn’t aware that it did. Perhaps you have a guilty conscience.” “Charley.” “Is there something you need to get off your chest? Besides that skank I saw you with the other day?
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See you in a few. Hold down the fort, Mr. Wong!
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The dead guy looked at me with wide eyes. “I can’t move my legs.” I snorted. “You can’t move your arms either, or your feet or your freaking eyelids. You’re dead.
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He had given me so much information, I wanted some time to absorb it all, but I didn't want to leave him. Not like this. Not ever, as long as I lived. Or until I had to get back on the case. Whichever came first.
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After a geological epoch passed in which single-celled organisms evolved into talk show hosts, Mr. Coffee was still holding out on me.
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There comes a moment when you know you just aren't going to do anything esle productive for the rest of the day.-T-Shirt
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Have you slept yet?' 'Sure. I took a power nap on the way over.' 'Didn't you drive there?' 'Yeah. Other drviers kept waking me up. Car horns should be illegal.' - Charley & Cookie
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I was white. Chalk had more color than I did. And quite possibly more personality.
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You can’t have him, okay,” she said from behind the wire barrier. “Mm-hmm,” I whispered. “This is certainly a beautiful neighborhood.” “Yeah, I guess.” “I will scratch those eyes out of your ugly head.
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guys have feelings too. But like...who cares? -Inspirational poster
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It isn’t the fall that will kill you, but the sudden stop.
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God I loved Sammy. I’d considered marrying him, but his wife got upset when I asked for his hand.
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I know, he said in almost bored contemplation. My manners suck. I like to chalk it up to a dissatisfying childhood. I'd chalk it up to that narcissistic personality disorder laces with a smidgen of schizophrenia. Your mother would be proud.
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It’s all fun and games until someone loses a testicle. —T-SHIRT
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I may not have any skeletons in my closet, but I do have a little box of souls in my sock drawer. —T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones