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She didn't smile back. Not even a little. I totally needed to read that book on how to win friends and influence people. But that would involve an innate desire to win friends and influence people.
Darynda Jones
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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
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Friona
Texas
Even
Friends
Would
Read
Involve
People
Desire
Innate
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Totally
Littles
Smile
Back
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Little
Influence
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Winning
More quotes by Darynda Jones
Paperwork wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for all the paper. And the work.
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I did that thing where you scratch your eyebrow and flip someone off at the same time. I'm good at multitasking like that.
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I could hardly be responsible for my actions when everyone around me gave me every opportunity to sink to their low expectations.
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Mistakes were made. Others were blamed.
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But have you ever seen one?....They shook their heads. Not Physically, no. But if you look at this passage - Man, she liked that Bible. I'd read it and could definitely understand it's appeal, but I didn't have time for this.
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There was nothing like a trip to the gynecologist to make one feel just a little violated. Charley
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What did one say to a stalker? Um, pardon me, Mr.Stalker, but could you, like, not?
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He seemed determines, his resolve unwavering. This would take tact. Prudence. Possible Milk Duds.
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I'm a virgin. But this is an old shirt. --T-SHIRT
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His gaze slid over me like a veil of fire. He could ignite my deepest desires with a single glance. I decided right then and there no more reading romance novels by candelight.
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I totally should've gone to Hogwarts when I had the chance.
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That boy needs a hobby. Stalking is a hobby. So is serial killing.
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I may not have any skeletons in my closet, but I do have a little box of souls in my sock drawer. —T-SHIRT
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Okay, I’ll put someone on it. But you know, the Albuquerque Police Department wasn’t really created to find things out for you.” “Really? That’s weird.
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I climbed into Misery and called Uncle Bob. “We hooking up?” “Why does everything out of your mouth make me sound incestuous?” “Um, I wasn’t aware that it did. Perhaps you have a guilty conscience.” “Charley.” “Is there something you need to get off your chest? Besides that skank I saw you with the other day?
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The dead guy looked at me with wide eyes. “I can’t move my legs.” I snorted. “You can’t move your arms either, or your feet or your freaking eyelids. You’re dead.
Darynda Jones
That you honestly believe I am capable of hurting innocent people for no reason.” “You’re not?” I asked, hope softening my voice. “Oh, no, I’m more than capable. I just didn’t realize you knew that.
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But, you're his son, I said, trying really hard to hate him. You're the son of Satan. Literally. And you are the stepdaughter of Denise Davidson. Wow. That was a bit harsh, but, Okay, point taken.
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What's your specialty? Oh, you know. Madness. Mayhem. Debauchery. And even with all that going for me, I can still make a mean mojito.
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Still, this whole grim reaper thing should have come with a manual. Or a diagram of some kind. A flowchart would have been nice.
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