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Insanity does NOT run in my family. It strolls through, takes it's time, and gets to know everyone personally - T-Shirt

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Personally
Gets
Takes
Family
Everyone
Running
Shirt
Doe
Insanity
Time
Shirts

More quotes by Darynda Jones

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Man, I want to be someone's forbidden fruit. Well, you are pretty fruity.
Darynda Jones
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God I loved Sammy. I’d considered marrying him, but his wife got upset when I asked for his hand.
Darynda Jones
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guys have feelings too. But like...who cares? -Inspirational poster
Darynda Jones
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But have you ever seen one?....They shook their heads. Not Physically, no. But if you look at this passage - Man, she liked that Bible. I'd read it and could definitely understand it's appeal, but I didn't have time for this.
Darynda Jones
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Mistakes were made. Others were blamed.
Darynda Jones
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If I couldn't be a good example, I'd just have to be a horrible warning.
Darynda Jones
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I'd never taken to four foot creatures who had the uncanny ability to point out all my flaws in thirty second flat. And just for the record, I can too read without moving my lips.
Darynda Jones
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Reyes Farrow. Because perfection is a dirty job, but someone has to do it.
Darynda Jones
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Glitch was about as wild and unpredictable as a carrot stick.
Darynda Jones
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“Time-out,” I said... He twisted his hand around and wound his fingers into mine. “You‘re putting me in time-out?” “Yes,” I said as a shaky sigh slid through my lips. “If I don't go, do I get a spanking?”
Darynda Jones
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I could hardly be responsible for my actions when everyone around me gave me every opportunity to sink to their low expectations.
Darynda Jones
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I sort of got off on making bad guys sweat. Which was not unlike my love of making good guys sweat, just by very different means.
Darynda Jones
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Does Uncle Bob have anything? I heard he has an STD. I mean on the women. Oh, I have no idea if they have any STDs.
Darynda Jones
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It’s all fun and games until someone loses a testicle. —T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones
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She shook her head then took off again, and I found myself struggling to keep up with her in my bunny slippers. With a sigh, I realized I was getting way too much exercise. I'd just have to counteract it later with cake.
Darynda Jones
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Hey, I'm going to Super Dog for a quick bite and to pass along a message from a dead guy to his girlfriend. You should come with me. I can't go with you. Is it because of my questionable morals? No, it's because it's three o'clock in the afternoon and I have to pick up Amber from school. Oh, right. So the morals thing doesn't bothe
Darynda Jones
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I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. - T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones
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The point is, stories can be all lengths. Never underestimate the power of “less is more.
Darynda Jones
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He’d actually hit me! It didn’t matter that hitting me wasn’t really like hitting a regular girl and I’d be completely healed in a matter of hours. I was still a freaking girl, and he damned well knew it. I’d just have to hit him back. With a lead pipe. Or an eighteen-wheeler.
Darynda Jones
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I climbed into Misery and called Uncle Bob. “We hooking up?” “Why does everything out of your mouth make me sound incestuous?” “Um, I wasn’t aware that it did. Perhaps you have a guilty conscience.” “Charley.” “Is there something you need to get off your chest? Besides that skank I saw you with the other day?
Darynda Jones