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Insanity does NOT run in my family. It strolls through, takes it's time, and gets to know everyone personally - T-Shirt

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Takes
Family
Everyone
Running
Shirt
Doe
Insanity
Time
Shirts
Personally
Gets

More quotes by Darynda Jones

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I shifted in my chair as Dad waited for a response. He seemed determined, his resolve unwavering. This would take tact. Prudence. Possibly Milk Duds. “Are you psychotic?” I asked, realizing my plan to charm and bribe him if need be flew out the window the minute I opened my mouth.
Darynda Jones
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I knew dating the son of Satan would turn out badly
Darynda Jones
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.. an emergency stash of Thin Mints. Frickin' Girl Scouts. Those things were way to addictive. They had to be laced with crack. Charlie Davidson Fourth Grave Beneath my Feet
Darynda Jones
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He was like chocolate-covered heroin, and I was an addict through and through.
Darynda Jones
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Death comes to those who wait. And to those who don't. So either way.
Darynda Jones
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You’re the reason I breathe
Darynda Jones
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I totally should've gone to Hogwarts when I had the chance.
Darynda Jones
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She still wasn't convinced. So, if you were a guy, would you be into me? Hon, if I were a guy, I'd be gay. Yeah, me, too.
Darynda Jones
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When life hands you lemons say, Lemons? What else have you got? - bumper sticker
Darynda Jones
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I climbed into Misery and called Uncle Bob. “We hooking up?” “Why does everything out of your mouth make me sound incestuous?” “Um, I wasn’t aware that it did. Perhaps you have a guilty conscience.” “Charley.” “Is there something you need to get off your chest? Besides that skank I saw you with the other day?
Darynda Jones
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I noticed you tore down Donovan's house. He lifted his gaze until it locked with mine. He's alive because he left town. His house chose to stay. It paid the price.
Darynda Jones
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But have you ever seen one?....They shook their heads. Not Physically, no. But if you look at this passage - Man, she liked that Bible. I'd read it and could definitely understand it's appeal, but I didn't have time for this.
Darynda Jones
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Hello? I said, because Charley's House of Pasties seemed wrong.
Darynda Jones
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She shook her head then took off again, and I found myself struggling to keep up with her in my bunny slippers. With a sigh, I realized I was getting way too much exercise. I'd just have to counteract it later with cake.
Darynda Jones
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I know how you feel. I’ve been analyzed to death as well. Not, like, professionally, though I did date a psych major who said I had attention issues. Or at least that’s what I think he said. I wasn’t really paying attention. Anyway, where was I?
Darynda Jones
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You take everything onto your shoulders like that guy who holds up the world, and you shouldn’t. You’re not nearly as muscular.
Darynda Jones
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But we'd never really seen eye to eye. Mostly 'cause he was much taller than I was.
Darynda Jones
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What did one say to a stalker? Um, pardon me, Mr.Stalker, but could you, like, not?
Darynda Jones
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When I want your opinion, I'll remove the duct tape.--T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones
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I could hardly be responsible for my actions when everyone around me gave me every opportunity to sink to their low expectations.
Darynda Jones