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Insanity does NOT run in my family. It strolls through, takes it's time, and gets to know everyone personally - T-Shirt

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Running
Shirt
Doe
Insanity
Time
Shirts
Personally
Gets
Takes
Family
Everyone

More quotes by Darynda Jones

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What did one say to a stalker? Um, pardon me, Mr.Stalker, but could you, like, not?
Darynda Jones
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Have you slept yet?' 'Sure. I took a power nap on the way over.' 'Didn't you drive there?' 'Yeah. Other drviers kept waking me up. Car horns should be illegal.' - Charley & Cookie
Darynda Jones
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I was white. Chalk had more color than I did. And quite possibly more personality.
Darynda Jones
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My real mom died when I was born—hemorrhaged to death while giving birth to me, which has never been one of my favorite memories—and Dad married Denise before I’d turned a year. Without even asking my opinion on the matter. Denise and I never really clicked.
Darynda Jones
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I pointed in the general vicinity of my left ovary, This is Beam Me Up. Then to my right. And this is Scotty. Garret chuckled and buried his face in his hands. He asked.
Darynda Jones
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It’s all fun and games until someone loses a testicle. —T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones
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I could be irksome when I put my left ventricle into it.
Darynda Jones
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I totally should've gone to Hogwarts when I had the chance.
Darynda Jones
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She blinked at me, then realized I was panicking. Honestly, it was like admitting to murder before being interrogated. “Ms. Davidson,” she began, but I decided to trip her up, to throw her off the trail of blood I’d left like an injured animal. “I don’t speak English.
Darynda Jones
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Oh, and she told me that men want only one thing. And on that note, I must give praise and thanks to the powers that be. I don't want much else from them either.
Darynda Jones
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I'd never taken to four foot creatures who had the uncanny ability to point out all my flaws in thirty second flat. And just for the record, I can too read without moving my lips.
Darynda Jones
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This place is like crazy on crackers.
Darynda Jones
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I had yet to be a mother, but I would have thought it difficult to forget something it took thirty-seven hours of excruciating pain to push out from between my legs ~Charley Davidson
Darynda Jones
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I shifted in my chair as Dad waited for a response. He seemed determined, his resolve unwavering. This would take tact. Prudence. Possibly Milk Duds. “Are you psychotic?” I asked, realizing my plan to charm and bribe him if need be flew out the window the minute I opened my mouth.
Darynda Jones
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There is a great need for a sarcasm font.
Darynda Jones
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But have you ever seen one?....They shook their heads. Not Physically, no. But if you look at this passage - Man, she liked that Bible. I'd read it and could definitely understand it's appeal, but I didn't have time for this.
Darynda Jones
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Charley: If you‘re not going to tell me where you are, if you‘re not going to trust me to help you, then why are you here? Why bother? Reyes: Because you‘re the reason I breathe.
Darynda Jones
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An integral part of any best friend's job is to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
Darynda Jones
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I love children, but I don't think I can eat a whole one.- Bumper sticker
Darynda Jones
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It isn’t the fall that will kill you, but the sudden stop.
Darynda Jones