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Drink coffee! Do stupid things faster and with more energy!

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Faster
Coffee
Drink
Stupid
Energy
Things

More quotes by Darynda Jones

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Friends don't let friends get killed by serial killers
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I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. - T-SHIRT
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Before I tell you, I have to know three things, I said. Okay. One, are you sitting down? Yes. Two, are you mentally stable? More than you'll ever be. Well, that was uncalled for. And three, how do you spell schizophrenia? What does that have to do with anything? Nothing. I just wanted to see if you'd tell me.
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You can't fix stupid, but you can numb it was a 2 by 4.--T-SHIRT
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I could hardly be responsible for my actions when everyone around me gave me every opportunity to sink to their low expectations.
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Apparently, this really was Kill Charley Davidson Week. Or at least Horribly Maim Her.... It would probably never get government recognition, though, destined to be underappreciated like Halloween or Thesaurus Day.
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Paperwork wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for all the paper. And the work.
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What's your specialty? Oh, you know. Madness. Mayhem. Debauchery. And even with all that going for me, I can still make a mean mojito.
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Where you just possessed? Cookie asked after a long moment, awe softening her voice. 'Cause let me tell you, sweetheart, if that was possession, I'm selling my soul.
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I often question my sanity. Occasionally, it replies.
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She still wasn't convinced. So, if you were a guy, would you be into me? Hon, if I were a guy, I'd be gay. Yeah, me, too.
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Okay, I’ll put someone on it. But you know, the Albuquerque Police Department wasn’t really created to find things out for you.” “Really? That’s weird.
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Mistakes were made. Others were blamed.
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In Cookie's defense, it was raining wildcats and rabid dogs.
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I love children, but I don't think I can eat a whole one.- Bumper sticker
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My plans often went awry. Much like my thoughts. Hold the phones. Maybe Saan had ADD, too. It would explain a lot.
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I'm a virgin. But this is an old shirt. --T-SHIRT
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Have you slept yet?' 'Sure. I took a power nap on the way over.' 'Didn't you drive there?' 'Yeah. Other drviers kept waking me up. Car horns should be illegal.' - Charley & Cookie
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You’re the reason I breathe
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Honestly, he acted as though he didn't like me anymore. Wait, maybe he didn't. Do you still like me? I never liked you. Oh, right. He had a point. Garreth & Charley
Darynda Jones