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Drink coffee! Do stupid things faster and with more energy!

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Faster
Coffee
Drink
Stupid
Energy
Things

More quotes by Darynda Jones

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Pretending to drink coffee was similar to faking an orgasm.
Darynda Jones
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“Time-out,” I said... He twisted his hand around and wound his fingers into mine. “You‘re putting me in time-out?” “Yes,” I said as a shaky sigh slid through my lips. “If I don't go, do I get a spanking?”
Darynda Jones
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There is nothing to fear but fear itself. And spiders. ~Bumper sticker~
Darynda Jones
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I meant to behave. There were just too many other options.--T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones
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I climbed into Misery and called Uncle Bob. “We hooking up?” “Why does everything out of your mouth make me sound incestuous?” “Um, I wasn’t aware that it did. Perhaps you have a guilty conscience.” “Charley.” “Is there something you need to get off your chest? Besides that skank I saw you with the other day?
Darynda Jones
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I often question my sanity. Occasionally, it replies.
Darynda Jones
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Surely my macking on some guy in an insane asylum wouldn't hurt him. He'd been living with his stalker, for heaven's sake.
Darynda Jones
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It’s all fun and games until someone loses a testicle. —T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones
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I sort of got off on making bad guys sweat. Which was not unlike my love of making good guys sweat, just by very different means.
Darynda Jones
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The dead guy looked at me with wide eyes. “I can’t move my legs.” I snorted. “You can’t move your arms either, or your feet or your freaking eyelids. You’re dead.
Darynda Jones
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Reyes leaned back against the bar, crossed his arms over his chest, and studied me from beneath those same ridiculously long lashes. Men and their freaking lashes. It was so unfair. Like the exorbitant cost of designer shoes. Or world hunger.
Darynda Jones
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I’m Charlotte Davidson: private investigator, police consultant, all -around badass. Or I could’ve been a badass, had I stuck with those lessons in mixed martial arts. I was only in that class to learn how to kill people with paper.
Darynda Jones
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In Cookie's defense, it was raining wildcats and rabid dogs.
Darynda Jones
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I'd have a longer attention span if there weren't so many shiny things.
Darynda Jones
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That boy needs a hobby. Stalking is a hobby. So is serial killing.
Darynda Jones
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But, you're his son, I said, trying really hard to hate him. You're the son of Satan. Literally. And you are the stepdaughter of Denise Davidson. Wow. That was a bit harsh, but, Okay, point taken.
Darynda Jones
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It isn’t the fall that will kill you, but the sudden stop.
Darynda Jones
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Honestly, he acted as though he didn't like me anymore. Wait, maybe he didn't. Do you still like me? I never liked you. Oh, right. He had a point. Garreth & Charley
Darynda Jones
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We stood there, the three of us, our jaws firmly planted on the floor. Aunt Lil recovered first. She nudged me with her elbow and said with a cackle of delight, I think you guys should make some more of those brownies, 'cause that boy looks hungry.
Darynda Jones
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I like to see the glass as half full, hopefully of jack daniels.
Darynda Jones