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Who knew that all this time the nectar of the Gods was in my va-jay-jay.

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Time
Nectar
Gods
Knew

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When I want your opinion, I'll remove the duct tape.--T-SHIRT
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I was white. Chalk had more color than I did. And quite possibly more personality.
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I totally should've gone to Hogwarts when I had the chance.
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Does Uncle Bob have anything? I heard he has an STD. I mean on the women. Oh, I have no idea if they have any STDs.
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I knew dating the son of Satan would turn out badly
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The funny thing about GPS was it didn’t always send you in the right direction. I knew that if I took a right and took Twelfth instead, I’d get there faster, so I turned right. Ozzy did not approve. “Wut the foock?
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What did one say to a stalker? Um, pardon me, Mr.Stalker, but could you, like, not?
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There was nothing like a trip to the gynecologist to make one feel just a little violated. Charley
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The point is, stories can be all lengths. Never underestimate the power of “less is more.
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Who is Dr. A. von Holstein? And is he related, by chance, to a race of cows?
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Rocket, I said, straightening in the chair. Donovan was just helping me with my contacts. Donovan raised his brows humorously. Rocket furrowed his. Did you swallow them?
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He had given me so much information, I wanted some time to absorb it all, but I didn't want to leave him. Not like this. Not ever, as long as I lived. Or until I had to get back on the case. Whichever came first.
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Mistakes were made. Others were blamed.
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Man, that woman was quick when she wanted to be. But put her behind the wheel of a Buick.
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I love children, but I don't think I can eat a whole one.- Bumper sticker
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I lowered the gun but didn’t holster it. Not just yet. She could turn out to be psychotic. Or a door-to-door salesperson.
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Apparently, this really was Kill Charley Davidson Week. Or at least Horribly Maim Her.... It would probably never get government recognition, though, destined to be underappreciated like Halloween or Thesaurus Day.
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I'm a virgin. But this is an old shirt. --T-SHIRT
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After a geological epoch passed in which single-celled organisms evolved into talk show hosts, Mr. Coffee was still holding out on me.
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How would you like your eggs? I tried. I really did. But I glanced at his crotch and it came out anyway. Fertilized?
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