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Who knew that all this time the nectar of the Gods was in my va-jay-jay.

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Gods
Knew
Time
Nectar

More quotes by Darynda Jones

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Chocolate and coffee ? Together ? Whoever came up with that combination should have won a Nobel Peace Prize. Or at least a subscription to Reader's Digest.
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That boy needs a hobby. Stalking is a hobby. So is serial killing.
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There was nothing like a trip to the gynecologist to make one feel just a little violated. Charley
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Oh, and she told me that men want only one thing. And on that note, I must give praise and thanks to the powers that be. I don't want much else from them either.
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You’re the reason I breathe
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She didn't smile back. Not even a little. I totally needed to read that book on how to win friends and influence people. But that would involve an innate desire to win friends and influence people.
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He seemed determines, his resolve unwavering. This would take tact. Prudence. Possible Milk Duds.
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I shifted in my chair as Dad waited for a response. He seemed determined, his resolve unwavering. This would take tact. Prudence. Possibly Milk Duds. “Are you psychotic?” I asked, realizing my plan to charm and bribe him if need be flew out the window the minute I opened my mouth.
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I meant to behave. There were just too many other options.--T-SHIRT
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guys have feelings too. But like...who cares? -Inspirational poster
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Want coffee? I asked, as I headed that way. It's three thirty in the morning. Okay. Want coffee?
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I was just passing by. Saw the commotion. Figured you were involved.
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There is a great need for a sarcasm font.
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Drink coffee! Do stupid things faster and with more energy!
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Dead people I could handle. They were usually beyond hysteria. This was the people-left behind part. The hard part.
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Whatever makes your balloon red, Swopes.
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I may as well cut my losses and make a hasty exit while I still had enough self-esteem to walk upright. Crawling was so demoralizing
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What's your specialty? Oh, you know. Madness. Mayhem. Debauchery. And even with all that going for me, I can still make a mean mojito.
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There is nothing to fear but fear itself. And spiders. ~Bumper sticker~
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You take everything onto your shoulders like that guy who holds up the world, and you shouldn’t. You’re not nearly as muscular.
Darynda Jones