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He bombarded me with words, of all things, apparently clueless to the fact that the predawn hours rendered me incapable of coherent thought.
Darynda Jones
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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
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Friona
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More quotes by Darynda Jones
Yeah, but what happens if life hands me pickles? - Bumper sticker
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You can’t have him, okay,” she said from behind the wire barrier. “Mm-hmm,” I whispered. “This is certainly a beautiful neighborhood.” “Yeah, I guess.” “I will scratch those eyes out of your ugly head.
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There was nothing like a trip to the gynecologist to make one feel just a little violated. Charley
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Ask me about my complete lack of interest. (T-shirt)
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Who is Dr. A. von Holstein? And is he related, by chance, to a race of cows?
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Glitch was about as wild and unpredictable as a carrot stick.
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She didn't smile back. Not even a little. I totally needed to read that book on how to win friends and influence people. But that would involve an innate desire to win friends and influence people.
Darynda Jones
Felt my heartbeat falter, hesitate, then stumble awkwardly forward, tripping on the next beat, then the next, faster and faster until each one tumbled into the other like the drumroll of dominoes crashing together. Funny how time stands still when death is imminent.
Darynda Jones
Can I brush your hair?” she asked as she led the way, her disposition doing a 180 on a dime. Kids. Can’t live with ’em. Can’t eat ’em for lunch.
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I may not have any skeletons in my closet, but I do have a little box of souls in my sock drawer. —T-SHIRT
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I'd never taken to four foot creatures who had the uncanny ability to point out all my flaws in thirty second flat. And just for the record, I can too read without moving my lips.
Darynda Jones
I may as well cut my losses and make a hasty exit while I still had enough self-esteem to walk upright. Crawling was so demoralizing
Darynda Jones
God I loved Sammy. I’d considered marrying him, but his wife got upset when I asked for his hand.
Darynda Jones
It isn’t the fall that will kill you, but the sudden stop.
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Reyes leaned back against the bar, crossed his arms over his chest, and studied me from beneath those same ridiculously long lashes. Men and their freaking lashes. It was so unfair. Like the exorbitant cost of designer shoes. Or world hunger.
Darynda Jones
Where you just possessed? Cookie asked after a long moment, awe softening her voice. 'Cause let me tell you, sweetheart, if that was possession, I'm selling my soul.
Darynda Jones
We stood there, the three of us, our jaws firmly planted on the floor. Aunt Lil recovered first. She nudged me with her elbow and said with a cackle of delight, I think you guys should make some more of those brownies, 'cause that boy looks hungry.
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I was white. Chalk had more color than I did. And quite possibly more personality.
Darynda Jones
You can't fix stupid, but you can numb it was a 2 by 4.--T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones
Have they even seen the Winchester boys? Sammy and Dean's existence proves there is a god and she is a woman.
Darynda Jones