Quote

I meant to behave. There were just too many other options.--T-SHIRT

Darynda Jones

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Behave
Meant
Many
Options
Shirt
Shirts

More quotes by Darynda Jones

Image
When life hands you lemons say, Lemons? What else have you got? - bumper sticker
Darynda Jones
Image
My plans often went awry. Much like my thoughts. Hold the phones. Maybe Saan had ADD, too. It would explain a lot.
Darynda Jones
Image
After a geological epoch passed in which single-celled organisms evolved into talk show hosts, Mr. Coffee was still holding out on me.
Darynda Jones
Image
My prodding me didn't elicit a reaction. His unseeing eyes stared straight through me. Which was odd. He'd seemed so sane huddled in Cookie's trunk.
Darynda Jones
Image
Paperwork wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for all the paper. And the work.
Darynda Jones
Image
I'm a virgin. But this is an old shirt. --T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones
Image
I did that thing where you scratch your eyebrow and flip someone off at the same time. I'm good at multitasking like that.
Darynda Jones
Image
Who knew that all this time the nectar of the Gods was in my va-jay-jay.
Darynda Jones
Image
I climbed into Misery and called Uncle Bob. “We hooking up?” “Why does everything out of your mouth make me sound incestuous?” “Um, I wasn’t aware that it did. Perhaps you have a guilty conscience.” “Charley.” “Is there something you need to get off your chest? Besides that skank I saw you with the other day?
Darynda Jones
Image
God I loved Sammy. I’d considered marrying him, but his wife got upset when I asked for his hand.
Darynda Jones
Image
My powers of persuasion are only as strong as the bullshit I have to back it up. - Charley Davidson
Darynda Jones
Image
I love children, but I don't think I can eat a whole one.- Bumper sticker
Darynda Jones
Image
I pointed in the general vicinity of my left ovary, This is Beam Me Up. Then to my right. And this is Scotty. Garret chuckled and buried his face in his hands. He asked.
Darynda Jones
Image
Where you just possessed? Cookie asked after a long moment, awe softening her voice. 'Cause let me tell you, sweetheart, if that was possession, I'm selling my soul.
Darynda Jones
Image
It’s all fun and games until someone loses a testicle. —T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones
Image
.. an emergency stash of Thin Mints. Frickin' Girl Scouts. Those things were way to addictive. They had to be laced with crack. Charlie Davidson Fourth Grave Beneath my Feet
Darynda Jones
Image
She shook her head then took off again, and I found myself struggling to keep up with her in my bunny slippers. With a sigh, I realized I was getting way too much exercise. I'd just have to counteract it later with cake.
Darynda Jones
Image
Yeah, but what happens if life hands me pickles? - Bumper sticker
Darynda Jones
Image
I like to see the glass as half full, hopefully of jack daniels.
Darynda Jones
Image
Hey, I'm going to Super Dog for a quick bite and to pass along a message from a dead guy to his girlfriend. You should come with me. I can't go with you. Is it because of my questionable morals? No, it's because it's three o'clock in the afternoon and I have to pick up Amber from school. Oh, right. So the morals thing doesn't bothe
Darynda Jones