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You can't fix stupid, but you can numb it was a 2 by 4.--T-SHIRT

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Shirt
Shirts
Stupid
Numb

More quotes by Darynda Jones

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I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. - T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones
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Ask me about my complete lack of interest. (T-shirt)
Darynda Jones
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Hello? I said, because Charley's House of Pasties seemed wrong.
Darynda Jones
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He had threatened my parents. I had to remember that. Still, it was really hard to stay mad at a wounded naked man.
Darynda Jones
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I went down like a drunken cowgirl trying to line dance to Metallica.
Darynda Jones
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I'd never taken to four foot creatures who had the uncanny ability to point out all my flaws in thirty second flat. And just for the record, I can too read without moving my lips.
Darynda Jones
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Just in case, though, I stormed into my apartment, tossed a quick hello to Mr. Wong, then rummaged through my entertainment center to lay out all my exorcism equipment. I kept it in my entertainment center because exorcisms were nothing if not entertaining.
Darynda Jones
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He had given me so much information, I wanted some time to absorb it all, but I didn't want to leave him. Not like this. Not ever, as long as I lived. Or until I had to get back on the case. Whichever came first.
Darynda Jones
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My plans often went awry. Much like my thoughts. Hold the phones. Maybe Saan had ADD, too. It would explain a lot.
Darynda Jones
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Want coffee? I asked, as I headed that way. It's three thirty in the morning. Okay. Want coffee?
Darynda Jones
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When fighting clowns, always go for the juggler.
Darynda Jones
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Pretending to drink coffee was similar to faking an orgasm.
Darynda Jones
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I meant to behave. There were just too many other options.--T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones
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It’s all fun and games until someone loses a testicle. —T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones
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Who is Dr. A. von Holstein? And is he related, by chance, to a race of cows?
Darynda Jones
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Still, this whole grim reaper thing should have come with a manual. Or a diagram of some kind. A flowchart would have been nice.
Darynda Jones
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Come here often?' I asked instead, humoring no one but myself. So it was totally worth it.
Darynda Jones
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I could hardly be responsible for my actions when everyone around me gave me every opportunity to sink to their low expectations.
Darynda Jones
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He’d actually hit me! It didn’t matter that hitting me wasn’t really like hitting a regular girl and I’d be completely healed in a matter of hours. I was still a freaking girl, and he damned well knew it. I’d just have to hit him back. With a lead pipe. Or an eighteen-wheeler.
Darynda Jones
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I chose the road less traveled. Now I'm lost.
Darynda Jones