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You can't fix stupid, but you can numb it was a 2 by 4.--T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones
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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
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Novelist
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Friona
Texas
Shirt
Shirts
Stupid
Numb
More quotes by Darynda Jones
If I couldn't be a good example, I'd just have to be a horrible warning.
Darynda Jones
If life hands you lemons,keep them. Because, hey, free lemons.-T-Shirt
Darynda Jones
You’re just using me for my body.” “You don’t have a body,” I’d remind him. “Throw that in my face.” “Technically, you don’t have a face either.
Darynda Jones
Yeah, but what happens if life hands me pickles? - Bumper sticker
Darynda Jones
How would you like your eggs? I tried. I really did. But I glanced at his crotch and it came out anyway. Fertilized?
Darynda Jones
An integral part of any best friend's job is to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
Darynda Jones
Does Uncle Bob have anything? I heard he has an STD. I mean on the women. Oh, I have no idea if they have any STDs.
Darynda Jones
But we'd never really seen eye to eye. Mostly 'cause he was much taller than I was.
Darynda Jones
I'd have a longer attention span if there weren't so many shiny things.
Darynda Jones
I often question my sanity. Occasionally, it replies.
Darynda Jones
Insanity does NOT run in my family. It strolls through, takes it's time, and gets to know everyone personally - T-Shirt
Darynda Jones
What did one say to a stalker? Um, pardon me, Mr.Stalker, but could you, like, not?
Darynda Jones
Reyes Farrow. Because perfection is a dirty job, but someone has to do it.
Darynda Jones
I did that thing where you scratch your eyebrow and flip someone off at the same time. I'm good at multitasking like that.
Darynda Jones
She blinked at me, then realized I was panicking. Honestly, it was like admitting to murder before being interrogated. “Ms. Davidson,” she began, but I decided to trip her up, to throw her off the trail of blood I’d left like an injured animal. “I don’t speak English.
Darynda Jones
I may as well cut my losses and make a hasty exit while I still had enough self-esteem to walk upright. Crawling was so demoralizing
Darynda Jones
Man, I want to be someone's forbidden fruit. Well, you are pretty fruity.
Darynda Jones
Still, this whole grim reaper thing should have come with a manual. Or a diagram of some kind. A flowchart would have been nice.
Darynda Jones
Have they even seen the Winchester boys? Sammy and Dean's existence proves there is a god and she is a woman.
Darynda Jones
Friends don't let friends get killed by serial killers
Darynda Jones