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You can't fix stupid, but you can numb it was a 2 by 4.--T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones
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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
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Friona
Texas
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Stupid
More quotes by Darynda Jones
Insanity does NOT run in my family. It strolls through, takes it's time, and gets to know everyone personally - T-Shirt
Darynda Jones
He seemed determines, his resolve unwavering. This would take tact. Prudence. Possible Milk Duds.
Darynda Jones
Yeah, but what happens if life hands me pickles? - Bumper sticker
Darynda Jones
Hello? I said, because Charley's House of Pasties seemed wrong.
Darynda Jones
I know, he said in almost bored contemplation. My manners suck. I like to chalk it up to a dissatisfying childhood. I'd chalk it up to that narcissistic personality disorder laces with a smidgen of schizophrenia. Your mother would be proud.
Darynda Jones
Come here often?' I asked instead, humoring no one but myself. So it was totally worth it.
Darynda Jones
Maybe I needed sensitivity training. I once signed up for an anger management class, but the instructor pissed me off.
Darynda Jones
Don't judge me because I'm quiet. No one plans a murder out loud.
Darynda Jones
I'm a virgin. But this is an old shirt. --T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones
Ask me about my complete lack of interest. (T-shirt)
Darynda Jones
But have you ever seen one?....They shook their heads. Not Physically, no. But if you look at this passage - Man, she liked that Bible. I'd read it and could definitely understand it's appeal, but I didn't have time for this.
Darynda Jones
I meant to behave. There were just too many other options.--T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones
It’s all fun and games until someone loses a testicle. —T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones
Charley: If you‘re not going to tell me where you are, if you‘re not going to trust me to help you, then why are you here? Why bother? Reyes: Because you‘re the reason I breathe.
Darynda Jones
Cookie had taken her daughter amber to school then walked the thirty-something feet to work earlier. Our business was on the second floor of Calamity's, my dad's bar, which sat right in front of our apartment building. The short commute was nice and rarely invloved rabid raccoons.
Darynda Jones
I know how you feel. I’ve been analyzed to death as well. Not, like, professionally, though I did date a psych major who said I had attention issues. Or at least that’s what I think he said. I wasn’t really paying attention. Anyway, where was I?
Darynda Jones
Do not disturb. Already there.
Darynda Jones
guys have feelings too. But like...who cares? -Inspirational poster
Darynda Jones
Who knew that all this time the nectar of the Gods was in my va-jay-jay.
Darynda Jones
I could hardly be responsible for my actions when everyone around me gave me every opportunity to sink to their low expectations.
Darynda Jones