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Man, that woman was quick when she wanted to be. But put her behind the wheel of a Buick.
Darynda Jones
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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
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Friona
Texas
Wheels
Quick
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Wanted
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More quotes by Darynda Jones
A Nuns Life: Chastity, poverty, and obedience. Wait, chastity? BUMPER STICKER
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Maybe I needed sensitivity training. I once signed up for an anger management class, but the instructor pissed me off.
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I'd never taken to four foot creatures who had the uncanny ability to point out all my flaws in thirty second flat. And just for the record, I can too read without moving my lips.
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Okay, I'll strip. I'll tap dance. I'll sing 'La Cucaracha' in C minor.
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I'm a virgin. But this is an old shirt. --T-SHIRT
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I'd have a longer attention span if there weren't so many shiny things.
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After a long, labored sigh, I said, “She was really happy when I got there. I’m pretty sure she was suicidal when I left.” “You do have that effect on people.
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Whatever makes your balloon red, Swopes.
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.. an emergency stash of Thin Mints. Frickin' Girl Scouts. Those things were way to addictive. They had to be laced with crack. Charlie Davidson Fourth Grave Beneath my Feet
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I may as well cut my losses and make a hasty exit while I still had enough self-esteem to walk upright. Crawling was so demoralizing
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I chose the road less traveled. Now I'm lost.
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He bombarded me with words, of all things, apparently clueless to the fact that the predawn hours rendered me incapable of coherent thought.
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Let me express how much I don't care on a scale of one to bite me, the former detective said.
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Hello? I said, because Charley's House of Pasties seemed wrong.
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I pointed in the general vicinity of my left ovary, This is Beam Me Up. Then to my right. And this is Scotty. Garret chuckled and buried his face in his hands. He asked.
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Surely my macking on some guy in an insane asylum wouldn't hurt him. He'd been living with his stalker, for heaven's sake.
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Have they even seen the Winchester boys? Sammy and Dean's existence proves there is a god and she is a woman.
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You can't fix stupid, but you can numb it was a 2 by 4.--T-SHIRT
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I knew dating the son of Satan would turn out badly
Darynda Jones
She shook her head then took off again, and I found myself struggling to keep up with her in my bunny slippers. With a sigh, I realized I was getting way too much exercise. I'd just have to counteract it later with cake.
Darynda Jones