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Man, that woman was quick when she wanted to be. But put her behind the wheel of a Buick.

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Quick
Behinds
Behind
Woman
Wanted
Men
Buick
Wheel
Wheels

More quotes by Darynda Jones

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When fighting clowns, always go for the juggler.
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Still, this whole grim reaper thing should have come with a manual. Or a diagram of some kind. A flowchart would have been nice.
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You can’t have him, okay,” she said from behind the wire barrier. “Mm-hmm,” I whispered. “This is certainly a beautiful neighborhood.” “Yeah, I guess.” “I will scratch those eyes out of your ugly head.
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Let me express how much I don't care on a scale of one to bite me, the former detective said.
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You can't fix stupid, but you can numb it was a 2 by 4.--T-SHIRT
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This place is like crazy on crackers.
Darynda Jones
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There is a great need for a sarcasm font.
Darynda Jones
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He had given me so much information, I wanted some time to absorb it all, but I didn't want to leave him. Not like this. Not ever, as long as I lived. Or until I had to get back on the case. Whichever came first.
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If I couldn't be a good example, I'd just have to be a horrible warning.
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I did that thing where you scratch your eyebrow and flip someone off at the same time. I'm good at multitasking like that.
Darynda Jones
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What do I look like, the ghost whisperer? They're loony. I'd have better luck talking to my cousin Alfonso's Chihuahua. At least Tía Juana knows Spanish. Your cousin's Chihuahua is named Tía Juana?
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Having Reyes so near is painful. I think it has apoplexy. Do you even know what that means? No, but it sounds serious. Like Ebola. Or hives
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His gaze slid over me like a veil of fire. He could ignite my deepest desires with a single glance. I decided right then and there no more reading romance novels by candelight.
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I'm a virgin. But this is an old shirt. --T-SHIRT
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Dead people I could handle. They were usually beyond hysteria. This was the people-left behind part. The hard part.
Darynda Jones
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Friends don't let friends get killed by serial killers
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If it weren’t for physics and law enforcement, I’d be unstoppable.
Darynda Jones
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Insanity does NOT run in my family. It strolls through, takes it's time, and gets to know everyone personally - T-Shirt
Darynda Jones
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.. an emergency stash of Thin Mints. Frickin' Girl Scouts. Those things were way to addictive. They had to be laced with crack. Charlie Davidson Fourth Grave Beneath my Feet
Darynda Jones
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Then I asked her if she wanted to to the funeral, and my God, the look on her face. You'd think I'd asked her to drown the neighbor's cat. Admittedly, drowning the neighbor's cat didn't really clue me in as much as I would've liked. So, she was angry? He blinked back to me and stared. Like a long time.
Darynda Jones