Quote

What did one say to a stalker? Um, pardon me, Mr.Stalker, but could you, like, not?

Darynda Jones

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Stalker
Pardon
Like

More quotes by Darynda Jones

Image
I'd never taken to four foot creatures who had the uncanny ability to point out all my flaws in thirty second flat. And just for the record, I can too read without moving my lips.
Darynda Jones
Image
What do I look like, the ghost whisperer? They're loony. I'd have better luck talking to my cousin Alfonso's Chihuahua. At least Tía Juana knows Spanish. Your cousin's Chihuahua is named Tía Juana?
Darynda Jones
Image
I totally should've gone to Hogwarts when I had the chance.
Darynda Jones
Image
When fighting clowns, always go for the juggler.
Darynda Jones
Image
He had given me so much information, I wanted some time to absorb it all, but I didn't want to leave him. Not like this. Not ever, as long as I lived. Or until I had to get back on the case. Whichever came first.
Darynda Jones
Image
―You realize I can hear you without the annoying intercom. Cookie and I both leaned forward and looked at each other through the doorway. ―But this is more fun, I said. ―More Star Trekkie.
Darynda Jones
Image
Mistakes were made. Others were blamed.
Darynda Jones
Image
Pretending to drink coffee was similar to faking an orgasm.
Darynda Jones
Image
I was white. Chalk had more color than I did. And quite possibly more personality.
Darynda Jones
Image
I climbed into Misery and called Uncle Bob. “We hooking up?” “Why does everything out of your mouth make me sound incestuous?” “Um, I wasn’t aware that it did. Perhaps you have a guilty conscience.” “Charley.” “Is there something you need to get off your chest? Besides that skank I saw you with the other day?
Darynda Jones
Image
A Nuns Life: Chastity, poverty, and obedience. Wait, chastity? BUMPER STICKER
Darynda Jones
Image
I like to see the glass as half full, hopefully of jack daniels.
Darynda Jones
Image
I may as well cut my losses and make a hasty exit while I still had enough self-esteem to walk upright. Crawling was so demoralizing
Darynda Jones
Image
Have you slept yet?' 'Sure. I took a power nap on the way over.' 'Didn't you drive there?' 'Yeah. Other drviers kept waking me up. Car horns should be illegal.' - Charley & Cookie
Darynda Jones
Image
The point is, stories can be all lengths. Never underestimate the power of “less is more.
Darynda Jones
Image
The funny thing about GPS was it didn’t always send you in the right direction. I knew that if I took a right and took Twelfth instead, I’d get there faster, so I turned right. Ozzy did not approve. “Wut the foock?
Darynda Jones
Image
You’re just using me for my body.” “You don’t have a body,” I’d remind him. “Throw that in my face.” “Technically, you don’t have a face either.
Darynda Jones
Image
He bombarded me with words, of all things, apparently clueless to the fact that the predawn hours rendered me incapable of coherent thought.
Darynda Jones
Image
There was nothing like a trip to the gynecologist to make one feel just a little violated. Charley
Darynda Jones
Image
guys have feelings too. But like...who cares? -Inspirational poster
Darynda Jones