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I may as well cut my losses and make a hasty exit while I still had enough self-esteem to walk upright. Crawling was so demoralizing
Darynda Jones
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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Make
Walks
Upright
Stills
Crawling
Still
Losses
May
Exit
Wells
Esteem
Well
Loss
Self
Cutting
Demoralizing
Enough
Walk
Hasty
More quotes by Darynda Jones
She didn't smile back. Not even a little. I totally needed to read that book on how to win friends and influence people. But that would involve an innate desire to win friends and influence people.
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The police never find it as funny as you do.-T-Shirt
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You can't fix stupid, but you can numb it was a 2 by 4.--T-SHIRT
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That you honestly believe I am capable of hurting innocent people for no reason.” “You’re not?” I asked, hope softening my voice. “Oh, no, I’m more than capable. I just didn’t realize you knew that.
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Don't judge me because I'm quiet. No one plans a murder out loud.
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But we'd never really seen eye to eye. Mostly 'cause he was much taller than I was.
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He’d actually hit me! It didn’t matter that hitting me wasn’t really like hitting a regular girl and I’d be completely healed in a matter of hours. I was still a freaking girl, and he damned well knew it. I’d just have to hit him back. With a lead pipe. Or an eighteen-wheeler.
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Chocolate and coffee ? Together ? Whoever came up with that combination should have won a Nobel Peace Prize. Or at least a subscription to Reader's Digest.
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She still wasn't convinced. So, if you were a guy, would you be into me? Hon, if I were a guy, I'd be gay. Yeah, me, too.
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Man, that woman was quick when she wanted to be. But put her behind the wheel of a Buick.
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I like to see the glass as half full, hopefully of jack daniels.
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.. an emergency stash of Thin Mints. Frickin' Girl Scouts. Those things were way to addictive. They had to be laced with crack. Charlie Davidson Fourth Grave Beneath my Feet
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An integral part of any best friend's job is to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
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I knew dating the son of Satan would turn out badly
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Just in case, though, I stormed into my apartment, tossed a quick hello to Mr. Wong, then rummaged through my entertainment center to lay out all my exorcism equipment. I kept it in my entertainment center because exorcisms were nothing if not entertaining.
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Whatever makes your balloon red, Swopes.
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I lowered the gun but didn’t holster it. Not just yet. She could turn out to be psychotic. Or a door-to-door salesperson.
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Man, I want to be someone's forbidden fruit. Well, you are pretty fruity.
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Insanity does NOT run in my family. It strolls through, takes it's time, and gets to know everyone personally - T-Shirt
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He seemed determines, his resolve unwavering. This would take tact. Prudence. Possible Milk Duds.
Darynda Jones