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Friends don't let friends get killed by serial killers

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Serials
Killers
Killed
Friends
Serial

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The police never find it as funny as you do.-T-Shirt
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Felt my heartbeat falter, hesitate, then stumble awkwardly forward, tripping on the next beat, then the next, faster and faster until each one tumbled into the other like the drumroll of dominoes crashing together. Funny how time stands still when death is imminent.
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Who knew that all this time the nectar of the Gods was in my va-jay-jay.
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Hello? I said, because Charley's House of Pasties seemed wrong.
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Reyes leaned back against the bar, crossed his arms over his chest, and studied me from beneath those same ridiculously long lashes. Men and their freaking lashes. It was so unfair. Like the exorbitant cost of designer shoes. Or world hunger.
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In Cookie's defense, it was raining wildcats and rabid dogs.
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Hey, I'm going to Super Dog for a quick bite and to pass along a message from a dead guy to his girlfriend. You should come with me. I can't go with you. Is it because of my questionable morals? No, it's because it's three o'clock in the afternoon and I have to pick up Amber from school. Oh, right. So the morals thing doesn't bothe
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There is nothing to fear but fear itself. And spiders. ~Bumper sticker~
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Do not disturb. Already there.
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Just in case, though, I stormed into my apartment, tossed a quick hello to Mr. Wong, then rummaged through my entertainment center to lay out all my exorcism equipment. I kept it in my entertainment center because exorcisms were nothing if not entertaining.
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Who is Dr. A. von Holstein? And is he related, by chance, to a race of cows?
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He seemed determines, his resolve unwavering. This would take tact. Prudence. Possible Milk Duds.
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If life hands you lemons,keep them. Because, hey, free lemons.-T-Shirt
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The funny thing about GPS was it didn’t always send you in the right direction. I knew that if I took a right and took Twelfth instead, I’d get there faster, so I turned right. Ozzy did not approve. “Wut the foock?
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Can I brush your hair?” she asked as she led the way, her disposition doing a 180 on a dime. Kids. Can’t live with ’em. Can’t eat ’em for lunch.
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Mistakes were made. Others were blamed.
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When life hands you lemons say, Lemons? What else have you got? - bumper sticker
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The dead guy looked at me with wide eyes. “I can’t move my legs.” I snorted. “You can’t move your arms either, or your feet or your freaking eyelids. You’re dead.
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“Time-out,” I said... He twisted his hand around and wound his fingers into mine. “You‘re putting me in time-out?” “Yes,” I said as a shaky sigh slid through my lips. “If I don't go, do I get a spanking?”
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If it weren’t for physics and law enforcement, I’d be unstoppable.
Darynda Jones