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Glitch was about as wild and unpredictable as a carrot stick.

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Stick
Sticks
Wild
Glitch
Glitches
Carrot
Carrots
Unpredictable

More quotes by Darynda Jones

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Just in case, though, I stormed into my apartment, tossed a quick hello to Mr. Wong, then rummaged through my entertainment center to lay out all my exorcism equipment. I kept it in my entertainment center because exorcisms were nothing if not entertaining.
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A sheriff arrested me. I could be mistaken, but I'm pretty sure my men-in-uniform fetish began that day. The sheriff was hot. And he handcuffed me. I've never been the same.
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Ask me about my complete lack of interest. (T-shirt)
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What did one say to a stalker? Um, pardon me, Mr.Stalker, but could you, like, not?
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He was like chocolate-covered heroin, and I was an addict through and through.
Darynda Jones
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Where you just possessed? Cookie asked after a long moment, awe softening her voice. 'Cause let me tell you, sweetheart, if that was possession, I'm selling my soul.
Darynda Jones
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You’re just using me for my body.” “You don’t have a body,” I’d remind him. “Throw that in my face.” “Technically, you don’t have a face either.
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Hello? I said, because Charley's House of Pasties seemed wrong.
Darynda Jones
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I'm a virgin. But this is an old shirt. --T-SHIRT
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I was white. Chalk had more color than I did. And quite possibly more personality.
Darynda Jones
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If I was going to go out tonight, I was going to go out fighting. Or screaming in agony. Either way.
Darynda Jones
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Who is Dr. A. von Holstein? And is he related, by chance, to a race of cows?
Darynda Jones
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How would you like your eggs? I tried. I really did. But I glanced at his crotch and it came out anyway. Fertilized?
Darynda Jones
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An integral part of any best friend's job is to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
Darynda Jones
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Okay, I'll strip. I'll tap dance. I'll sing 'La Cucaracha' in C minor.
Darynda Jones
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There is nothing to fear but fear itself. And spiders. ~Bumper sticker~
Darynda Jones
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Cookie had taken her daughter amber to school then walked the thirty-something feet to work earlier. Our business was on the second floor of Calamity's, my dad's bar, which sat right in front of our apartment building. The short commute was nice and rarely invloved rabid raccoons.
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There comes a moment when you know you just aren't going to do anything esle productive for the rest of the day.-T-Shirt
Darynda Jones
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When fighting clowns, always go for the juggler.
Darynda Jones
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The funny thing about GPS was it didn’t always send you in the right direction. I knew that if I took a right and took Twelfth instead, I’d get there faster, so I turned right. Ozzy did not approve. “Wut the foock?
Darynda Jones