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You’re the reason I breathe
Darynda Jones
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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
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Friona
Texas
Breathe
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More quotes by Darynda Jones
Does Uncle Bob have anything? I heard he has an STD. I mean on the women. Oh, I have no idea if they have any STDs.
Darynda Jones
My real mom died when I was born—hemorrhaged to death while giving birth to me, which has never been one of my favorite memories—and Dad married Denise before I’d turned a year. Without even asking my opinion on the matter. Denise and I never really clicked.
Darynda Jones
If I was going to go out tonight, I was going to go out fighting. Or screaming in agony. Either way.
Darynda Jones
You can't fix stupid, but you can numb it was a 2 by 4.--T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones
It’s all fun and games until someone loses a testicle. —T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones
I totally should've gone to Hogwarts when I had the chance.
Darynda Jones
See you in a few. Hold down the fort, Mr. Wong!
Darynda Jones
I could be irksome when I put my left ventricle into it.
Darynda Jones
SARC- was my second favorite -ASM word
Darynda Jones
I'd never taken to four foot creatures who had the uncanny ability to point out all my flaws in thirty second flat. And just for the record, I can too read without moving my lips.
Darynda Jones
SOME GIRLS WEAR PRADA. SOME GIRLS WEAR GLOCK 17 SHORT RECOIL SPRING-LOADED SEMIAUTOMATIC PISTOLS WITH A LOADED CHAMBER INDICATOR AND A NONSLIP GRIP. - T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones
Hello? I said, because Charley's House of Pasties seemed wrong.
Darynda Jones
I can hear other things, too. Before you came around, I had no idea a man could make a girl scream like that. Reyes seems very talented.
Darynda Jones
Ask me about my complete lack of interest. (T-shirt)
Darynda Jones
The funny thing about GPS was it didn’t always send you in the right direction. I knew that if I took a right and took Twelfth instead, I’d get there faster, so I turned right. Ozzy did not approve. “Wut the foock?
Darynda Jones
That boy needs a hobby. Stalking is a hobby. So is serial killing.
Darynda Jones
She didn't smile back. Not even a little. I totally needed to read that book on how to win friends and influence people. But that would involve an innate desire to win friends and influence people.
Darynda Jones
Still, this whole grim reaper thing should have come with a manual. Or a diagram of some kind. A flowchart would have been nice.
Darynda Jones
Just in case, though, I stormed into my apartment, tossed a quick hello to Mr. Wong, then rummaged through my entertainment center to lay out all my exorcism equipment. I kept it in my entertainment center because exorcisms were nothing if not entertaining.
Darynda Jones
I did that thing where you scratch your eyebrow and flip someone off at the same time. I'm good at multitasking like that.
Darynda Jones