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In Cookie's defense, it was raining wildcats and rabid dogs.
Darynda Jones
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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
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Friona
Texas
Dog
Rabid
Raining
Cookie
Cookies
Dogs
Defense
Rain
More quotes by Darynda Jones
“Time-out,” I said... He twisted his hand around and wound his fingers into mine. “You‘re putting me in time-out?” “Yes,” I said as a shaky sigh slid through my lips. “If I don't go, do I get a spanking?”
Darynda Jones
Oh, and she told me that men want only one thing. And on that note, I must give praise and thanks to the powers that be. I don't want much else from them either.
Darynda Jones
Who knew that all this time the nectar of the Gods was in my va-jay-jay.
Darynda Jones
He was like chocolate-covered heroin, and I was an addict through and through.
Darynda Jones
I know how you feel. I’ve been analyzed to death as well. Not, like, professionally, though I did date a psych major who said I had attention issues. Or at least that’s what I think he said. I wasn’t really paying attention. Anyway, where was I?
Darynda Jones
I could hardly be responsible for my actions when everyone around me gave me every opportunity to sink to their low expectations.
Darynda Jones
That you honestly believe I am capable of hurting innocent people for no reason.” “You’re not?” I asked, hope softening my voice. “Oh, no, I’m more than capable. I just didn’t realize you knew that.
Darynda Jones
Ask me about my complete lack of interest. (T-shirt)
Darynda Jones
I can hear other things, too. Before you came around, I had no idea a man could make a girl scream like that. Reyes seems very talented.
Darynda Jones
Rocket, I said, straightening in the chair. Donovan was just helping me with my contacts. Donovan raised his brows humorously. Rocket furrowed his. Did you swallow them?
Darynda Jones
After a geological epoch passed in which single-celled organisms evolved into talk show hosts, Mr. Coffee was still holding out on me.
Darynda Jones
You take everything onto your shoulders like that guy who holds up the world, and you shouldn’t. You’re not nearly as muscular.
Darynda Jones
Mistakes were made. Others were blamed.
Darynda Jones
I did that thing where you scratch your eyebrow and flip someone off at the same time. I'm good at multitasking like that.
Darynda Jones
Cookie had taken her daughter amber to school then walked the thirty-something feet to work earlier. Our business was on the second floor of Calamity's, my dad's bar, which sat right in front of our apartment building. The short commute was nice and rarely invloved rabid raccoons.
Darynda Jones
SARC- was my second favorite -ASM word
Darynda Jones
She shook her head then took off again, and I found myself struggling to keep up with her in my bunny slippers. With a sigh, I realized I was getting way too much exercise. I'd just have to counteract it later with cake.
Darynda Jones
Drink coffee! Do stupid things faster and with more energy!
Darynda Jones
Have you slept yet?' 'Sure. I took a power nap on the way over.' 'Didn't you drive there?' 'Yeah. Other drviers kept waking me up. Car horns should be illegal.' - Charley & Cookie
Darynda Jones
An integral part of any best friend's job is to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
Darynda Jones