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That you honestly believe I am capable of hurting innocent people for no reason.” “You’re not?” I asked, hope softening my voice. “Oh, no, I’m more than capable. I just didn’t realize you knew that.
Darynda Jones
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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
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Friona
Texas
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Man, that woman was quick when she wanted to be. But put her behind the wheel of a Buick.
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My powers of persuasion are only as strong as the bullshit I have to back it up. - Charley Davidson
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I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. - T-SHIRT
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Paperwork wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for all the paper. And the work.
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Who knew that all this time the nectar of the Gods was in my va-jay-jay.
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Give it up? Not likely. Besides, what else would I do? I totally should have gone to Hogwart's when I had the chance.
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If it weren’t for physics and law enforcement, I’d be unstoppable.
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That boy needs a hobby. Stalking is a hobby. So is serial killing.
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She didn't smile back. Not even a little. I totally needed to read that book on how to win friends and influence people. But that would involve an innate desire to win friends and influence people.
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I chose the road less traveled. Now I'm lost.
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After a geological epoch passed in which single-celled organisms evolved into talk show hosts, Mr. Coffee was still holding out on me.
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Death comes to those who wait. And to those who don't. So either way.
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I know, he said in almost bored contemplation. My manners suck. I like to chalk it up to a dissatisfying childhood. I'd chalk it up to that narcissistic personality disorder laces with a smidgen of schizophrenia. Your mother would be proud.
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But have you ever seen one?....They shook their heads. Not Physically, no. But if you look at this passage - Man, she liked that Bible. I'd read it and could definitely understand it's appeal, but I didn't have time for this.
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Drink coffee! Do stupid things faster and with more energy!
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What do I look like, the ghost whisperer? They're loony. I'd have better luck talking to my cousin Alfonso's Chihuahua. At least Tía Juana knows Spanish. Your cousin's Chihuahua is named Tía Juana?
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guys have feelings too. But like...who cares? -Inspirational poster
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A sheriff arrested me. I could be mistaken, but I'm pretty sure my men-in-uniform fetish began that day. The sheriff was hot. And he handcuffed me. I've never been the same.
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Come here often?' I asked instead, humoring no one but myself. So it was totally worth it.
Darynda Jones