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That you honestly believe I am capable of hurting innocent people for no reason.” “You’re not?” I asked, hope softening my voice. “Oh, no, I’m more than capable. I just didn’t realize you knew that.
Darynda Jones
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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
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Friona
Texas
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More quotes by Darynda Jones
The funny thing about GPS was it didn’t always send you in the right direction. I knew that if I took a right and took Twelfth instead, I’d get there faster, so I turned right. Ozzy did not approve. “Wut the foock?
Darynda Jones
A sheriff arrested me. I could be mistaken, but I'm pretty sure my men-in-uniform fetish began that day. The sheriff was hot. And he handcuffed me. I've never been the same.
Darynda Jones
How would you like your eggs? I tried. I really did. But I glanced at his crotch and it came out anyway. Fertilized?
Darynda Jones
She didn't smile back. Not even a little. I totally needed to read that book on how to win friends and influence people. But that would involve an innate desire to win friends and influence people.
Darynda Jones
God I loved Sammy. I’d considered marrying him, but his wife got upset when I asked for his hand.
Darynda Jones
He bombarded me with words, of all things, apparently clueless to the fact that the predawn hours rendered me incapable of coherent thought.
Darynda Jones
Give it up? Not likely. Besides, what else would I do? I totally should have gone to Hogwart's when I had the chance.
Darynda Jones
I totally should've gone to Hogwarts when I had the chance.
Darynda Jones
SOME GIRLS WEAR PRADA. SOME GIRLS WEAR GLOCK 17 SHORT RECOIL SPRING-LOADED SEMIAUTOMATIC PISTOLS WITH A LOADED CHAMBER INDICATOR AND A NONSLIP GRIP. - T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones
Don't judge me because I'm quiet. No one plans a murder out loud.
Darynda Jones
I shifted in my chair as Dad waited for a response. He seemed determined, his resolve unwavering. This would take tact. Prudence. Possibly Milk Duds. “Are you psychotic?” I asked, realizing my plan to charm and bribe him if need be flew out the window the minute I opened my mouth.
Darynda Jones
Okay, I’ll put someone on it. But you know, the Albuquerque Police Department wasn’t really created to find things out for you.” “Really? That’s weird.
Darynda Jones
If I was going to go out tonight, I was going to go out fighting. Or screaming in agony. Either way.
Darynda Jones
Surely my macking on some guy in an insane asylum wouldn't hurt him. He'd been living with his stalker, for heaven's sake.
Darynda Jones
My powers of persuasion are only as strong as the bullshit I have to back it up. - Charley Davidson
Darynda Jones
Have you slept yet?' 'Sure. I took a power nap on the way over.' 'Didn't you drive there?' 'Yeah. Other drviers kept waking me up. Car horns should be illegal.' - Charley & Cookie
Darynda Jones
Can I brush your hair?” she asked as she led the way, her disposition doing a 180 on a dime. Kids. Can’t live with ’em. Can’t eat ’em for lunch.
Darynda Jones
But have you ever seen one?....They shook their heads. Not Physically, no. But if you look at this passage - Man, she liked that Bible. I'd read it and could definitely understand it's appeal, but I didn't have time for this.
Darynda Jones
Felt my heartbeat falter, hesitate, then stumble awkwardly forward, tripping on the next beat, then the next, faster and faster until each one tumbled into the other like the drumroll of dominoes crashing together. Funny how time stands still when death is imminent.
Darynda Jones
My plans often went awry. Much like my thoughts. Hold the phones. Maybe Saan had ADD, too. It would explain a lot.
Darynda Jones