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That you honestly believe I am capable of hurting innocent people for no reason.” “You’re not?” I asked, hope softening my voice. “Oh, no, I’m more than capable. I just didn’t realize you knew that.

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
People
Realizing
Knew
Softening
Hurt
Hurting
Hope
Innocent
Voice
Honestly
Didn
Capable
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Believe
Realize

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You were the one who hit me on the roof? I hit you on the jaw. We just happened to be on a roof at the time.
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I may as well cut my losses and make a hasty exit while I still had enough self-esteem to walk upright. Crawling was so demoralizing
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.. an emergency stash of Thin Mints. Frickin' Girl Scouts. Those things were way to addictive. They had to be laced with crack. Charlie Davidson Fourth Grave Beneath my Feet
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You take everything onto your shoulders like that guy who holds up the world, and you shouldn’t. You’re not nearly as muscular.
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Death comes to those who wait. And to those who don't. So either way.
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If life hands you lemons,keep them. Because, hey, free lemons.-T-Shirt
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I pointed in the general vicinity of my left ovary, This is Beam Me Up. Then to my right. And this is Scotty. Garret chuckled and buried his face in his hands. He asked.
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SARC- was my second favorite -ASM word
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I could hardly be responsible for my actions when everyone around me gave me every opportunity to sink to their low expectations.
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He had threatened my parents. I had to remember that. Still, it was really hard to stay mad at a wounded naked man.
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Apparently, this really was Kill Charley Davidson Week. Or at least Horribly Maim Her.... It would probably never get government recognition, though, destined to be underappreciated like Halloween or Thesaurus Day.
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Pretending to drink coffee was similar to faking an orgasm.
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Okay, I'll strip. I'll tap dance. I'll sing 'La Cucaracha' in C minor.
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The dead guy looked at me with wide eyes. “I can’t move my legs.” I snorted. “You can’t move your arms either, or your feet or your freaking eyelids. You’re dead.
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Does Uncle Bob have anything? I heard he has an STD. I mean on the women. Oh, I have no idea if they have any STDs.
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A sheriff arrested me. I could be mistaken, but I'm pretty sure my men-in-uniform fetish began that day. The sheriff was hot. And he handcuffed me. I've never been the same.
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How would you like your eggs? I tried. I really did. But I glanced at his crotch and it came out anyway. Fertilized?
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Maybe I needed sensitivity training. I once signed up for an anger management class, but the instructor pissed me off.
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If it weren’t for physics and law enforcement, I’d be unstoppable.
Darynda Jones
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I’m Charlotte Davidson: private investigator, police consultant, all -around badass. Or I could’ve been a badass, had I stuck with those lessons in mixed martial arts. I was only in that class to learn how to kill people with paper.
Darynda Jones