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I like to see the glass as half full, hopefully of jack daniels.
Darynda Jones
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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
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Friona
Texas
Alcohol
Glasses
Hopefully
Full
Half
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Jack
Glass
More quotes by Darynda Jones
Nobody wants to look like a fool. Nine times out of ten, that reason alone keeps people from allowing themselves to believe.
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Who knew that all this time the nectar of the Gods was in my va-jay-jay.
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He seemed determines, his resolve unwavering. This would take tact. Prudence. Possible Milk Duds.
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The funny thing about GPS was it didn’t always send you in the right direction. I knew that if I took a right and took Twelfth instead, I’d get there faster, so I turned right. Ozzy did not approve. “Wut the foock?
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Rocket, I said, straightening in the chair. Donovan was just helping me with my contacts. Donovan raised his brows humorously. Rocket furrowed his. Did you swallow them?
Darynda Jones
I shifted in my chair as Dad waited for a response. He seemed determined, his resolve unwavering. This would take tact. Prudence. Possibly Milk Duds. “Are you psychotic?” I asked, realizing my plan to charm and bribe him if need be flew out the window the minute I opened my mouth.
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I'm a virgin. But this is an old shirt. --T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones
God I loved Sammy. I’d considered marrying him, but his wife got upset when I asked for his hand.
Darynda Jones
I totally should've gone to Hogwarts when I had the chance.
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Oh, and she told me that men want only one thing. And on that note, I must give praise and thanks to the powers that be. I don't want much else from them either.
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My plans often went awry. Much like my thoughts. Hold the phones. Maybe Saan had ADD, too. It would explain a lot.
Darynda Jones
I’m Charlotte Davidson: private investigator, police consultant, all -around badass. Or I could’ve been a badass, had I stuck with those lessons in mixed martial arts. I was only in that class to learn how to kill people with paper.
Darynda Jones
He’d actually hit me! It didn’t matter that hitting me wasn’t really like hitting a regular girl and I’d be completely healed in a matter of hours. I was still a freaking girl, and he damned well knew it. I’d just have to hit him back. With a lead pipe. Or an eighteen-wheeler.
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Chocolate and coffee ? Together ? Whoever came up with that combination should have won a Nobel Peace Prize. Or at least a subscription to Reader's Digest.
Darynda Jones
Come here often?' I asked instead, humoring no one but myself. So it was totally worth it.
Darynda Jones
There is a great need for a sarcasm font.
Darynda Jones
You’re the reason I breathe
Darynda Jones
I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. - T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones
I'd have a longer attention span if there weren't so many shiny things.
Darynda Jones
We stood there, the three of us, our jaws firmly planted on the floor. Aunt Lil recovered first. She nudged me with her elbow and said with a cackle of delight, I think you guys should make some more of those brownies, 'cause that boy looks hungry.
Darynda Jones