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I like to see the glass as half full, hopefully of jack daniels.
Darynda Jones
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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
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Friona
Texas
Glasses
Hopefully
Full
Half
Like
Jack
Glass
Alcohol
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Paperwork wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for all the paper. And the work.
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I was white. Chalk had more color than I did. And quite possibly more personality.
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Maybe I needed sensitivity training. I once signed up for an anger management class, but the instructor pissed me off.
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I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. - T-SHIRT
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I went down like a drunken cowgirl trying to line dance to Metallica.
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Mistakes were made. Others were blamed.
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Honestly, he acted as though he didn't like me anymore. Wait, maybe he didn't. Do you still like me? I never liked you. Oh, right. He had a point. Garreth & Charley
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I'd never taken to four foot creatures who had the uncanny ability to point out all my flaws in thirty second flat. And just for the record, I can too read without moving my lips.
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The dead guy looked at me with wide eyes. “I can’t move my legs.” I snorted. “You can’t move your arms either, or your feet or your freaking eyelids. You’re dead.
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The funny thing about GPS was it didn’t always send you in the right direction. I knew that if I took a right and took Twelfth instead, I’d get there faster, so I turned right. Ozzy did not approve. “Wut the foock?
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Death comes to those who wait. And to those who don't. So either way.
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He was like chocolate-covered heroin, and I was an addict through and through.
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But have you ever seen one?....They shook their heads. Not Physically, no. But if you look at this passage - Man, she liked that Bible. I'd read it and could definitely understand it's appeal, but I didn't have time for this.
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How would you like your eggs? I tried. I really did. But I glanced at his crotch and it came out anyway. Fertilized?
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Just in case, though, I stormed into my apartment, tossed a quick hello to Mr. Wong, then rummaged through my entertainment center to lay out all my exorcism equipment. I kept it in my entertainment center because exorcisms were nothing if not entertaining.
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You can’t have him, okay,” she said from behind the wire barrier. “Mm-hmm,” I whispered. “This is certainly a beautiful neighborhood.” “Yeah, I guess.” “I will scratch those eyes out of your ugly head.
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But we'd never really seen eye to eye. Mostly 'cause he was much taller than I was.
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I shifted in my chair as Dad waited for a response. He seemed determined, his resolve unwavering. This would take tact. Prudence. Possibly Milk Duds. “Are you psychotic?” I asked, realizing my plan to charm and bribe him if need be flew out the window the minute I opened my mouth.
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Let me express how much I don't care on a scale of one to bite me, the former detective said.
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