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I like to see the glass as half full, hopefully of jack daniels.
Darynda Jones
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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
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Friona
Texas
Glasses
Hopefully
Full
Half
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Jack
Glass
Alcohol
More quotes by Darynda Jones
He had threatened my parents. I had to remember that. Still, it was really hard to stay mad at a wounded naked man.
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Don't judge me because I'm quiet. No one plans a murder out loud.
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Okay, I'll strip. I'll tap dance. I'll sing 'La Cucaracha' in C minor.
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Okay, I’ll put someone on it. But you know, the Albuquerque Police Department wasn’t really created to find things out for you.” “Really? That’s weird.
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Having Reyes so near is painful. I think it has apoplexy. Do you even know what that means? No, but it sounds serious. Like Ebola. Or hives
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guys have feelings too. But like...who cares? -Inspirational poster
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What's your specialty? Oh, you know. Madness. Mayhem. Debauchery. And even with all that going for me, I can still make a mean mojito.
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Apparently, this really was Kill Charley Davidson Week. Or at least Horribly Maim Her.... It would probably never get government recognition, though, destined to be underappreciated like Halloween or Thesaurus Day.
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She didn't smile back. Not even a little. I totally needed to read that book on how to win friends and influence people. But that would involve an innate desire to win friends and influence people.
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Who is Dr. A. von Holstein? And is he related, by chance, to a race of cows?
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See you in a few. Hold down the fort, Mr. Wong!
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When life hands you lemons say, Lemons? What else have you got? - bumper sticker
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His gaze slid over me like a veil of fire. He could ignite my deepest desires with a single glance. I decided right then and there no more reading romance novels by candelight.
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I had yet to be a mother, but I would have thought it difficult to forget something it took thirty-seven hours of excruciating pain to push out from between my legs ~Charley Davidson
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Paperwork wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for all the paper. And the work.
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The funny thing about GPS was it didn’t always send you in the right direction. I knew that if I took a right and took Twelfth instead, I’d get there faster, so I turned right. Ozzy did not approve. “Wut the foock?
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Does Uncle Bob have anything? I heard he has an STD. I mean on the women. Oh, I have no idea if they have any STDs.
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Mistakes were made. Others were blamed.
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After a geological epoch passed in which single-celled organisms evolved into talk show hosts, Mr. Coffee was still holding out on me.
Darynda Jones
Come here often?' I asked instead, humoring no one but myself. So it was totally worth it.
Darynda Jones