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A sheriff arrested me. I could be mistaken, but I'm pretty sure my men-in-uniform fetish began that day. The sheriff was hot. And he handcuffed me. I've never been the same.

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Uniforms
Mistaken
Hot
Handcuffed
Began
Sheriff
Pretty
Sheriffs
Sure
Fetish
Never
Uniform
Men
Arrested

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I may not have any skeletons in my closet, but I do have a little box of souls in my sock drawer. —T-SHIRT
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He seemed determines, his resolve unwavering. This would take tact. Prudence. Possible Milk Duds.
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Do not disturb. Already there.
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If I couldn't be a good example, I'd just have to be a horrible warning.
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Glitch was about as wild and unpredictable as a carrot stick.
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Before I tell you, I have to know three things, I said. Okay. One, are you sitting down? Yes. Two, are you mentally stable? More than you'll ever be. Well, that was uncalled for. And three, how do you spell schizophrenia? What does that have to do with anything? Nothing. I just wanted to see if you'd tell me.
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A Nuns Life: Chastity, poverty, and obedience. Wait, chastity? BUMPER STICKER
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I sort of got off on making bad guys sweat. Which was not unlike my love of making good guys sweat, just by very different means.
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My powers of persuasion are only as strong as the bullshit I have to back it up. - Charley Davidson
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.. an emergency stash of Thin Mints. Frickin' Girl Scouts. Those things were way to addictive. They had to be laced with crack. Charlie Davidson Fourth Grave Beneath my Feet
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If I was going to go out tonight, I was going to go out fighting. Or screaming in agony. Either way.
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I meant to behave. There were just too many other options.--T-SHIRT
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He said you sparkle like a newborn galaxy and have more attitude than a rich kid with his daddy's Porsche.
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Man, I want to be someone's forbidden fruit. Well, you are pretty fruity.
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I did that thing where you scratch your eyebrow and flip someone off at the same time. I'm good at multitasking like that.
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Maybe I needed sensitivity training. I once signed up for an anger management class, but the instructor pissed me off.
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I totally should've gone to Hogwarts when I had the chance.
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How would you like your eggs? I tried. I really did. But I glanced at his crotch and it came out anyway. Fertilized?
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Does Uncle Bob have anything? I heard he has an STD. I mean on the women. Oh, I have no idea if they have any STDs.
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Have you slept yet?' 'Sure. I took a power nap on the way over.' 'Didn't you drive there?' 'Yeah. Other drviers kept waking me up. Car horns should be illegal.' - Charley & Cookie
Darynda Jones