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A sheriff arrested me. I could be mistaken, but I'm pretty sure my men-in-uniform fetish began that day. The sheriff was hot. And he handcuffed me. I've never been the same.

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Men
Arrested
Uniforms
Mistaken
Hot
Handcuffed
Began
Sheriff
Pretty
Sheriffs
Sure
Fetish
Never
Uniform

More quotes by Darynda Jones

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The police never find it as funny as you do.-T-Shirt
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Come here often?' I asked instead, humoring no one but myself. So it was totally worth it.
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Man, I want to be someone's forbidden fruit. Well, you are pretty fruity.
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He’d actually hit me! It didn’t matter that hitting me wasn’t really like hitting a regular girl and I’d be completely healed in a matter of hours. I was still a freaking girl, and he damned well knew it. I’d just have to hit him back. With a lead pipe. Or an eighteen-wheeler.
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Who is Dr. A. von Holstein? And is he related, by chance, to a race of cows?
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Charley: If you‘re not going to tell me where you are, if you‘re not going to trust me to help you, then why are you here? Why bother? Reyes: Because you‘re the reason I breathe.
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There is a great need for a sarcasm font.
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The dead guy looked at me with wide eyes. “I can’t move my legs.” I snorted. “You can’t move your arms either, or your feet or your freaking eyelids. You’re dead.
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He was like chocolate-covered heroin, and I was an addict through and through.
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I went down like a drunken cowgirl trying to line dance to Metallica.
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Still, this whole grim reaper thing should have come with a manual. Or a diagram of some kind. A flowchart would have been nice.
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I'd have a longer attention span if there weren't so many shiny things.
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Do not disturb. Already there.
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If it weren’t for physics and law enforcement, I’d be unstoppable.
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You’re the reason I breathe
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Let me express how much I don't care on a scale of one to bite me, the former detective said.
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You were the one who hit me on the roof? I hit you on the jaw. We just happened to be on a roof at the time.
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“Time-out,” I said... He twisted his hand around and wound his fingers into mine. “You‘re putting me in time-out?” “Yes,” I said as a shaky sigh slid through my lips. “If I don't go, do I get a spanking?”
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I totally should've gone to Hogwarts when I had the chance.
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I had yet to be a mother, but I would have thought it difficult to forget something it took thirty-seven hours of excruciating pain to push out from between my legs ~Charley Davidson
Darynda Jones