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An integral part of any best friend's job is to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
Darynda Jones
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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
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Friona
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This place is like crazy on crackers.
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If life hands you lemons,keep them. Because, hey, free lemons.-T-Shirt
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Nobody wants to look like a fool. Nine times out of ten, that reason alone keeps people from allowing themselves to believe.
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Honestly, he acted as though he didn't like me anymore. Wait, maybe he didn't. Do you still like me? I never liked you. Oh, right. He had a point. Garreth & Charley
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In Cookie's defense, it was raining wildcats and rabid dogs.
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When fighting clowns, always go for the juggler.
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He had threatened my parents. I had to remember that. Still, it was really hard to stay mad at a wounded naked man.
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I meant to behave. There were just too many other options.--T-SHIRT
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His gaze slid over me like a veil of fire. He could ignite my deepest desires with a single glance. I decided right then and there no more reading romance novels by candelight.
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A Nuns Life: Chastity, poverty, and obedience. Wait, chastity? BUMPER STICKER
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You can’t have him, okay,” she said from behind the wire barrier. “Mm-hmm,” I whispered. “This is certainly a beautiful neighborhood.” “Yeah, I guess.” “I will scratch those eyes out of your ugly head.
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You take everything onto your shoulders like that guy who holds up the world, and you shouldn’t. You’re not nearly as muscular.
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Glitch was about as wild and unpredictable as a carrot stick.
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My real mom died when I was born—hemorrhaged to death while giving birth to me, which has never been one of my favorite memories—and Dad married Denise before I’d turned a year. Without even asking my opinion on the matter. Denise and I never really clicked.
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I knew dating the son of Satan would turn out badly
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Mistakes were made. Others were blamed.
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He bombarded me with words, of all things, apparently clueless to the fact that the predawn hours rendered me incapable of coherent thought.
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Before I tell you, I have to know three things, I said. Okay. One, are you sitting down? Yes. Two, are you mentally stable? More than you'll ever be. Well, that was uncalled for. And three, how do you spell schizophrenia? What does that have to do with anything? Nothing. I just wanted to see if you'd tell me.
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She still wasn't convinced. So, if you were a guy, would you be into me? Hon, if I were a guy, I'd be gay. Yeah, me, too.
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But we'd never really seen eye to eye. Mostly 'cause he was much taller than I was.
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