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An integral part of any best friend's job is to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Clear
Dies
History
Jobs
Part
Integral
Best
Immediately
Computer
Friend

More quotes by Darynda Jones

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The point is, stories can be all lengths. Never underestimate the power of “less is more.
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Having Reyes so near is painful. I think it has apoplexy. Do you even know what that means? No, but it sounds serious. Like Ebola. Or hives
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My real mom died when I was born—hemorrhaged to death while giving birth to me, which has never been one of my favorite memories—and Dad married Denise before I’d turned a year. Without even asking my opinion on the matter. Denise and I never really clicked.
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See you in a few. Hold down the fort, Mr. Wong!
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I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. - T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones
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I chose the road less traveled. Now I'm lost.
Darynda Jones
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guys have feelings too. But like...who cares? -Inspirational poster
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The dead guy looked at me with wide eyes. “I can’t move my legs.” I snorted. “You can’t move your arms either, or your feet or your freaking eyelids. You’re dead.
Darynda Jones
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Then I asked her if she wanted to to the funeral, and my God, the look on her face. You'd think I'd asked her to drown the neighbor's cat. Admittedly, drowning the neighbor's cat didn't really clue me in as much as I would've liked. So, she was angry? He blinked back to me and stared. Like a long time.
Darynda Jones
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I went down like a drunken cowgirl trying to line dance to Metallica.
Darynda Jones
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If I couldn't be a good example, I'd just have to be a horrible warning.
Darynda Jones
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Okay, I'll strip. I'll tap dance. I'll sing 'La Cucaracha' in C minor.
Darynda Jones
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Give it up? Not likely. Besides, what else would I do? I totally should have gone to Hogwart's when I had the chance.
Darynda Jones
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Just in case, though, I stormed into my apartment, tossed a quick hello to Mr. Wong, then rummaged through my entertainment center to lay out all my exorcism equipment. I kept it in my entertainment center because exorcisms were nothing if not entertaining.
Darynda Jones
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You’re the reason I breathe
Darynda Jones
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It isn’t the fall that will kill you, but the sudden stop.
Darynda Jones
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I knew dating the son of Satan would turn out badly
Darynda Jones
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Can I brush your hair?” she asked as she led the way, her disposition doing a 180 on a dime. Kids. Can’t live with ’em. Can’t eat ’em for lunch.
Darynda Jones
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She didn't smile back. Not even a little. I totally needed to read that book on how to win friends and influence people. But that would involve an innate desire to win friends and influence people.
Darynda Jones
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―You realize I can hear you without the annoying intercom. Cookie and I both leaned forward and looked at each other through the doorway. ―But this is more fun, I said. ―More Star Trekkie.
Darynda Jones