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I chose the road less traveled. Now I'm lost.
Darynda Jones
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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
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Novelist
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Friona
Texas
Chose
Road
Less
Lost
Traveled
More quotes by Darynda Jones
An integral part of any best friend's job is to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
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You take everything onto your shoulders like that guy who holds up the world, and you shouldn’t. You’re not nearly as muscular.
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Just in case, though, I stormed into my apartment, tossed a quick hello to Mr. Wong, then rummaged through my entertainment center to lay out all my exorcism equipment. I kept it in my entertainment center because exorcisms were nothing if not entertaining.
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Okay, I'll strip. I'll tap dance. I'll sing 'La Cucaracha' in C minor.
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Hello? I said, because Charley's House of Pasties seemed wrong.
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My plans often went awry. Much like my thoughts. Hold the phones. Maybe Saan had ADD, too. It would explain a lot.
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Have you slept yet?' 'Sure. I took a power nap on the way over.' 'Didn't you drive there?' 'Yeah. Other drviers kept waking me up. Car horns should be illegal.' - Charley & Cookie
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He was like chocolate-covered heroin, and I was an addict through and through.
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I may as well cut my losses and make a hasty exit while I still had enough self-esteem to walk upright. Crawling was so demoralizing
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Before I tell you, I have to know three things, I said. Okay. One, are you sitting down? Yes. Two, are you mentally stable? More than you'll ever be. Well, that was uncalled for. And three, how do you spell schizophrenia? What does that have to do with anything? Nothing. I just wanted to see if you'd tell me.
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Felt my heartbeat falter, hesitate, then stumble awkwardly forward, tripping on the next beat, then the next, faster and faster until each one tumbled into the other like the drumroll of dominoes crashing together. Funny how time stands still when death is imminent.
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I love children, but I don't think I can eat a whole one.- Bumper sticker
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Who is Dr. A. von Holstein? And is he related, by chance, to a race of cows?
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You can't fix stupid, but you can numb it was a 2 by 4.--T-SHIRT
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A sheriff arrested me. I could be mistaken, but I'm pretty sure my men-in-uniform fetish began that day. The sheriff was hot. And he handcuffed me. I've never been the same.
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I was just passing by. Saw the commotion. Figured you were involved.
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How would you like your eggs? I tried. I really did. But I glanced at his crotch and it came out anyway. Fertilized?
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But, you're his son, I said, trying really hard to hate him. You're the son of Satan. Literally. And you are the stepdaughter of Denise Davidson. Wow. That was a bit harsh, but, Okay, point taken.
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See you in a few. Hold down the fort, Mr. Wong!
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Reyes Farrow. Because perfection is a dirty job, but someone has to do it.
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